Finding Home
by Sassyvampmama
Summary: Bella moves back to Forks with her son to help her dying father, but can she do it alone? With the help of her old friends and a new man, Bella will find what she's been looking for. A/H, A/U, OOC- not Eddie friendly. Rated 'M' for language.
1. Set Fire to the Rain

_(__**Disclaimer**__: This is not Stephanie Meyer's Twilight cast, though she does own the whole Saga, nor do I own any of the songs that the titles of each chapter were inspired by. I own nothing but the DVD's, a set of the books and a few miscellaneous CD's.)_

**Full Summary:** OOC, AH/AU, non-canon pairs AND character death and assassinations ahead. After finding out that his cancer is now in the end stage, Charlie calls Bella and asks her to pack up and move back in with him so that he can spend as much time as he has left with her. The problem with this is that she won't be coming back to Forks alone, she'll be bringing Edward's unwanted son home with her. The trials and tribulations of watching her father waste away will hit her hard, but with her friends and a new man by her side, she and her son can get through losing Charlie.

**_A/N:__ This is a new thing for me, writing a Twific, but these two characters speak to me. They are my favorite Twilight pairing and there's just something about Emmett that I simply love. This story is not for Edward lovers, he's the bad guy in this story, but don't worry; he's only in the first chapter. It is not a sad story, though there will be some sadness, nor is it solely a love story either. It is a story about finding your home, whether it is a place or simply in someone else's arms._**

**_Each chapter is named for a song that I feel helps set the mood for what happens. It is up to you as to whether you listen to them or not, but I found them helpful in the writing of each one._**

**_And, as always, credit where credit is due. kjwrit is my beta for this story, and has done one hell of a job. Her patience astounds me and her grasp of my ideas is nothing short of amazing. Thank you so much for agreeing to help me wrangle my muse and for being such and awesome beta._**

**_-o0o-_**

**Chapter 1- (Set Fire to the Rain- Adele)**

As I walk up to the counter of the coffee shop I had chosen for our meeting I can see that he's already seated at a table off in the corner with his back against the wall. His eyes are following my every movement, much like a wounded animal would; watching his attacker and waiting for the next blow to fall on him. I guess I'm going to be cast as the attacker in this scenario. 'Oh well, it's a role that I'm used to by now with him,' I think as I shrug my shoulders to myself. I order my skinny Caramel Chai Latte- hold the foam- and pay for it before I walk to the end of the counter to wait for it to be made. Once I have it in my hand I take an experimental sip to make sure that it was made correctly and sigh in coffee-shop bliss when it is.

It's been nearly ten years since the last time I saw him, his broad shoulders held tight with indignant pride as he strode purposely from the lawyers office after proving how little I actually meant to him. The years have been fairly kind to him, though there are little indications that time has touched his beautiful face as well. At 29 years old he has the beginnings of the frown lines that used to always make me feel sorry for his father. I remember looking at Dr. Cullen and thinking that his face could be breathtaking if I could ever see him smile, but I never did. He was always so serious, so driven, and it would seem that Edward has inherited this seriousness along with his medical degree.

I covertly study him for a minute from below my mascaraed lashes and realize that it's hard to see the happy young man I spent the summer with so many years ago. I'm willing to bet that the smile that could always melt my heart, not to mention my panties, has not graced his face in years. The man sitting at the corner table gives off the impression that he wouldn't know fun if it drove over him with an 18-wheeler.

Wearily I make my way to his table, knowing that this will definitely not be a pleasant conversation between two old friends. I have some news that he will not appreciate and I can only hope that he won't make a scene since we are in a public place. I chose this particular coffee shop based on how close it is to the hospital and figured that there would be at least a couple of his colleagues in here to keep him in check. After all, there is nothing that the Cullens hate more than creating a scene.

"Thank you for meeting with me today, Edward. I know that it seems like my call came out of left field, I heard recently that you got married and that Tanya is expecting. Congrats on both by the way. I'm sure that she's everything that you've ever wanted, not to mention that your parents actually like her, huh?" I say as I sit down at the table across from him.

Tanya and I are as different as night and day. She's high-society and I'm no-society. She's Gucci and Chanel and I shop at Wal-Mart and Sears. She has a senior position with one of the county's top law firms and I'm a secretary in a cut rate insurance office in Tacoma to make ends meet… barely. Well, at least I was until I got that call from my dad this week.

But the point is this; I was never good enough for him, not as far as his parents were concerned. They had disapproved of me from the minute I placed my Blue Light Special Keds knock-offs on their imported Italian travertine tiled entry hall. To them I was nothing more than Edward's last act of rebellion before he headed off to Dartmouth to become a doctor, just like his father. Anytime I entered their home I was treated with polite disdain and constantly compared to Tanya, whom they thought was perfect, and more to the point, perfect for Edward. Apparently they were right.

"Well, it's not like they could hate her, could they? She is their god-daughter after all. And yes, we are expecting our first child in about four months" he stated stiffly, acknowledging my words with only the briefest of nods as though I was nothing more than a mere acquaintance, but then again, I suppose that is exactly what I am to him now.

I do my best to keep my temper in check as I ask, "Is that all you have to say? You don't even want to know why I called you now, after all of this time?"

"I figured that you'd tell me while we're here, but I'm pretty sure I have an idea."

"Well yes, I'm sure you do," I said, still more than a little nervous about how he was going to take my news, but I can't help myself and ask, "Aren't you even the slightest bit curious? Don't you want to know anything about him, Edward? You can't just forget about what happened, sweep it under the rug, and hope that it never sees the light of day."

"Bella, we have been over this time and time again. I offered to help you out, but it was your decision to continue on this course. It's hardly my problem anymore. If you'll remember, you absolved me of all responsibility concerning this matter." The waves of exasperation and contempt coming from him were so thick I thought they might actually knock me out of my seat.

My nervousness is replaced by the indignity I feel as I remember all too well that summer from years ago and I exclaim tightly, "You're such a cold, unfeeling bastard, you know that? I wasn't alone in this; you were fully on board that summer. Everything was so exciting. We were so wrapped up in each other and neither one of us thought about any of the consequences. By the time we left for college the damage was already done."

"Of course I remember how it was, we were young and in love, or so we thought. But Bella, we were just kids. Neither one of us was ready for what happened."

"But it did happen Edward, and like everything else in your life that you didn't want to deal with, you tried to get rid of it. You threw money at me and expected that I would take care of the problem. But it wasn't a problem for me Edward, it was my child. A child that I already loved and I simply couldn't get an abortion," I explain, feeling my own waves of exasperation.

"But that was your decision, not mine. I wasn't ready to be a father ten years ago and I explained that to you. We agreed that if you had the baby it was solely your responsibility. You chose to go through with the pregnancy and I signed away my parental rights before it was even born."

"He's not an 'it'; his name is Seth. And whether you want to acknowledge him or not, he is your son. He looks just like you, there's no mistaking it, and you won't be able to deny it for much longer." My intention isn't to taunt him, even if my tone might say otherwise.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, instantly going on the defensive, "You can't get anything from me, you agreed to the termination of my rights and that means that you're not entitled to any kind of support from me or my family. If you think that you can come in here and threaten me, you've got another thing coming. Tanya specializes in family law, you won't stand a chance against her, nor will any lawyer you could afford," he sneered.

"Relax," I plead softly, "I don't want anything from you. But Seth is the reason I called you… kinda." I haul in a deep breath and square my shoulders, mentally preparing myself for the onslaught of anger I am sure to face once I say what I came here to tell him. After counting to ten, I release my breath, look back at him and say, "You see, my dad called me last week and blew my world to pieces. He's got stage four pancreatic cancer Edward, and I'm moving in with him to take care of him."

Another deep breath is pulled in and out of my lungs before I find the will to drop the bomb. "And since I'm moving back to Forks, so is Seth, obviously, hence the comment on your deniability concerning him."

I watch the color literally drain from Edward's face with more than a little amusement, knowing that this is most likely the first time in years that he isn't able to control everything in his neat and safe little world. His pale white look of shock is fading and is quickly being replaced by a deep red that is almost purple in hue, signaling what I can only imagine is repressed anger. I send up a fervent prayer that he will be able to keep his cool for a little while longer, or at least until our meeting is over and I'm long gone.

I watch him take in breath after breath, trying desperately to calm himself and after a few minutes it seems to be working as his face returns to its normal color. A few more minutes go by and I can only assume that he's plotting my torture and death by killer bees or something else along those lines when he finally starts to speak once more, only this time his voice holds an eerie calm, deadly in its undertone.

"What do you want Isabella? Do you want money? Fine, name your price and I'll have it in your account by this evening."

The fact that he thinks I'm there to be bought pisses me off and I have to physically repress my own anger as I say, "I don't want your money, I never have. I wanted to tell you this face to face so that you would have a chance to tell whoever you need to so there would be no surprises. Despite what you might think, I don't want to hurt you. You are my son's father, and while that might not mean anything to you, it means everything to me. He means everything to me, and I won't have him hurt any more than he already will be while he watches his grandfather die."

"Why here? Why can't you take Charlie to your house?"

"This is my dad's home, his town. He's been the police chief here for the past twenty-something years, never mind that he was born and raised in Forks. All of his friends are here, why should he leave? He's dying Edward; doesn't that mean anything to you? You're a doctor for Christ's sake!" I exclaim quietly, infuriated at his selfishness.

"Of course I feel bad for him, but you can't bring your child to Forks. I can't even imagine the chaos that it would cause me right now. Tanya is pregnant; this could cause complications for her, not to mention our marriage. Or what about what it will do to me? Nobody will respect a doctor that walked away from his child, whether it was wanted or not."

I simply can't believe the temerity of this man. I just told him that my father is dying in one of the most humiliating and torturous ways possible, one that will have him literally wasting away, and he's worried about his reputation. Un-fucking-believable. As I continue to stare at him, unable to say anything due to my shock at the depth of his conceit, he starts speaking once more.

"I'll tell everyone that I didn't know. Everyone knows that we went our separate ways shortly after we went off to college, and why wouldn't we? It wouldn't be such a stretch for them to believe that you never told me that you were carrying my child."

"Why would you have to tell them anything other than the truth? It's not like your family doesn't already know about him, who else matters?" I ask, wondering why he's acting like he's trying to cover his ass, when it suddenly hits me. "They don't know, do they? Oh my God Edward, please tell me that you told your family about this."

"I can't do that." Simple, blunt, and straight to the point, Edward was never one to mince words unless it helped him in some way.

"All this time and you've never said a word? Did it never occur to you that they might see him? And I promise you this; if and when they do, they'll know right away that he's yours. How were you planning on dealing with that possibility?" I was shocked and dumbfounded, unable to comprehend that he would fail to mention the fact that he had a child to his family. Who does that? At this point I'm almost afraid to ask the next question. "At least Tanya knows, right?"

"No, she doesn't. I never saw the point in telling her about our mistake."

"Mistake? He may not have been on the 'Cullen goes to school, gets a medical degree and lives happily ever after' plan, but he was never a mistake. Not for me." I grab my disposable coffee cup and stand to leave, disgust tainting the memories I'd kept of this man now filling my head and my heart. I can't stand to be in his presence any longer, but as I turn to walk away, he grabs my arm, spinning me to face him.

"We're not done Isabella. We have to have a plan before you start parading your child around town and besmirching the name I've created for myself here," he says, practically spitting the words in my face.

"Oh, trust me when I say we _are_ done here. My goal was to inform you that we were moving back to Forks and I've done that. It was a courtesy to you and your family that, looking back now, I should have spared myself from making." I say through gritted teeth. "As for any 'plans' you might have, just remember that I have the signed copy of your Termination of Parental Rights, signed and dated before he was even born, that will more than prove that not only did you know about your son, but that you willingly walked away from him. If you try to hurt him or my reputation in any way to save face I will not hesitate to make that fact public knowledge. How's that for a threat Edward?"

And with those words hanging heavily between us, I wrench my arm from his grasp and walk away from him, pain and pride warring in my head over our confrontation. Pain for the hurt I felt I would be causing my son by bringing him to my hometown and pride for the fact that I had finally stood up to Edward Cullen.


	2. Secrets

**_Once more, a major thank you to kjwrit for being my superbeta! (Seriously, I think she might even wear a spandex suit under her 'regular clothes', but shhhh… that's our secret.) Also, there are several ladies I failed to mention last chapter, my ever willing-to-be-tortured friends who did the pre-reading for this story. Their many suggestions and keen eyes have saved you countless minutes of confusion. Thanks ladies, you three know who you are._**

**_And onto the story… _**

**-o0o-**

**Chapter 2- (Secrets- One Republic)**

Packing up the last ten years has been hard. Seth and I had spent the last week deciding what we wanted to bring with us to this new chapter of our lives and what was going to be relegated to the past. Currently, the most important memories we made in Tacoma are now sitting inside thirty U-Haul boxes, along with his bedroom furniture. I know that he won't want any of the old 'girly' furniture in what used to be my bedroom and will feel more comfortable with his own boy tested, boy approved set.

When we went to visit last week he complained constantly about the lavender comforter and walls, asking if he could paint the walls black to banish the girliness from what will now be his domain. Dad just shook his head and laughed, saying that black might be a bit extreme, but that he'd always thought that blue would look great on the walls in there. They have plans to paint it together tomorrow before we unpack his room, so while they are redecorating his new room, I'll be busy turning the downstairs den into a hospice care room for my father, complete with the new bedroom furniture that will make life easier for Charlie as getting around becomes more difficult for him.

One of the guys from dad's station needed to be in Seattle this weekend and offered to drop Dad off at my apartment, so he'll be driving the moving truck to Forks with Seth as his navigator. That leaves me alone, driving my car with all of our clothing, the cat, Mr. Fluffikins aka Fluff-ball, Seth's bearded dragon, Rodney, and all of the crap that they might need for the 3 and a half hour long drive. Seth will kill me if anything happens to that damn lizard, so I as I put him into the car, I make sure his terrarium is strapped tightly into the front seatbelt and the lid is securely in place, but that's mostly because I really don't want to have to play catch the lizard while I'm driving. That little fucker is lightning fast, and I don't even want to imagine all the places he could disappear to inside the car. So, just for good measure, I throw a blanket over the top and weigh it down with the insulated lunch sack that contains his food and a few bottles of water for me.

"Okay sweetheart, I think that's the last box in the truck. You sure you got everything?" my dad asks, trying not to show his obvious exhaustion. He and Seth have just finished loading the truck and are waiting for me to give the OK for them to close it up.

"Let me just do one last walkthrough to make sure, but I think so," I say, then gently ask him, "Why don't you sit down and rest for a few minutes. Did you have one of those shakes the doctor told you about?"

"I'll be just fine girl, stop worrying about your old man. I promise to let you know if it gets to be too much, but I want to do this for you and the big guy." He ruffles Seth's hair as he says this, causing Seth to duck away and try to smooth his crazy copper locks to no avail.

There are times that I really wish he didn't look quite so much like his father. I wish that his looks didn't remind me every day of the fact that his own father doesn't want anything to do with him, knowing that there is nothing I can do to change it for him. I just can't understand not wanting to be part of your child's life, especially when the kid is as special as my son is.

Seth has asked about his father several times already, and while I strive to always be truthful with my son, I never know exactly what to tell him. I have always planned on telling him the truth when he is old enough to be able to fully understand what happened between me and Edward, but I never expected to have to tell him this early and now I'm stuck with having to decide on how much of the truth my nine year old is ready to hear. Do I tell him the truth, which is that his own father thinks he's a mistake I should've 'dealt' with? Or tell him a lie and say that his father is dead or that he was an explorer who got lost in some remote rainforest? I ponder this while I finish my last round through my now empty apartment, locking the door behind me for the final time and walking to the main office where I hand my key over to the manager. I say my final goodbyes both to her and to the past decade as I head towards my car to begin the next leg of my life.

The drive goes fairly quickly thanks to my dad and Seth telling me jokes over the walkie-talkie's Dad brought with him so we can communicate while on the road since cell service can be spotty along the coast. When I'm not trying to figure out why the vampire crossed the road or why Frankenstein doesn't like coffee, I am busy trying to decide where to start with my son and the discussion I've been putting off. I think I need to sit down and have a heart to heart with Dad once Seth is in bed tonight hoping maybe he can provide some much needed perspective. Perhaps he'll have some words of wisdom that'll help me know the right things to say to my son to make him understand the realities of our situation without damaging his lovable spirit.

When we pull up to the house I grew up in, I am surprised to see a few big men lounging on the front porch and when they see me pull into the driveway they jump into action - it would seem that my father still has a few tricks up his sleeve. I get out of my car and am immediately enveloped in a lung crushing hug and as I am still unsure of my attacker's identity, I am hesitant about returning the embrace; that is until I hear a voice straight out of my happiest childhood memories.

"Jesus Belly, can't a guy even get a hug anymore?"

"Jake! Oh my God, I didn't recognize you. What the hell have they been feeding you, Miracle Grow?"

"Yeah, well," he says, rubbing his neck and blushing lightly, "the wife keeps me pretty well fed. I need all the energy I can get though. Gotta be able to keep up with the rugrats, you know."

"Wife? Kids? I didn't know. Dad never told me anything. Who is she Jake, do I know her? Is she one of the Rez girls? Leah? Emily?" I ask rambling out everything excitedly in one huge breath. I can't believe Dad never said anything about Jake getting married to me, let alone that he had kids.

"Not exactly, Belly. Do you remember Rosalie McCarty?"

"Vaguely, wasn't she that geeky little blond girl that was all knees and elbows in high school? I think she was a couple of years younger than us, right?"

"Yup, that's her, only she's not so geeky and the rest of her definitely caught up to her knees and elbows. Rather nicely too, I might add," he says chuckling. "Anyways, she's Rosalie Black now, or rather Rosie, and simply the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Oh Jake, I'm so happy for you. But kids? How many and how old?"

"Rosie and I got married shortly after J.R. surprised us, but we've been together since right after you left for college. J.R. is almost 8 now and Jilly is turning 6 next week. Maybe you can come to the party, meet my Rosie and our friends. It's nothing too formal, just a good bunch of friends, their wives and kids, some charred meat and lots of beer. It'll give you a chance to get to know some of the guys that have been helping Charlie out too; I know they'd like the chance to get to know you." He winks as he says this, and I can feel myself starting to blush, but before I have the chance to respond he continues, "Anyways, me and the guys cleared everything outta your old room, and outta the den downstairs. Charlie's hospital bed arrived earlier and we already set it up in there. It's on wheels, so I figure you can put it wherever he wants it. He told us to move all of your old stuff into his old room, so that's already done. I guess you're gonna turn the old room into an office or something, huh?"

"Or something," I say, realizing that not only has my dad failed to forward information about Jake's life to me, but that he thankfully hasn't told Jake about what has happened in my life either. I had asked him not to, but it's always good to know he had respected my wishes. "Um, about that Jake, there's something I should tell you…"

"Hold up Belly Bean, here's Charlie with the truck now. Hey, who's that riding with him?" he asks, playfully nudging my ribs with his elbow. "Did you bring someone home with you? Someone of the male persuasion?"

"Jake… Um, that's my son." I spit it out quickly, wondering how he's going to take the news.

"Your son? Oh, well that explains why we emptied your old room. Where's your hubby? Is he driving his car? Charlie never mentioned that you got married, or that you had a kid for that matter, but oh well. Obviously he's invited to Jilly's birthday as well. I can't wait to meet the guy who finally caught you, Belly." He says all of this in a rush of excitement, never once pausing long enough to let me tell him that it's just me and Seth, and nary a hubby in sight.

When he finally stops talking I take a deep breath and say, "That's Seth, my son. We'd love to come to your daughter's birthday party Jake, but it'll just be the two of us. There is no 'hubby'; Seth's dad isn't in the picture."

"Oh, that's okay… is it okay? Are you alright Belly? Bad divorce? Did he die? Oh shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blurt that out, especially if that's the reason. That's not the reason, is it?" The words are like projectile vomit the way they're spewing out of his mouth so quickly, and I'd be lying if I said I don't find his obvious discomfort just a little amusing.

"It's fine Jake. No he's not dead, no it wasn't a bad divorce - there was no divorce, hell, there was never a wedding to begin with. It's a long story, one I promise to tell you later, but for now, please don't say anything out loud when you meet him. I promise, with capital letters, that I'll tell you everything later, but I think you'll have a pretty good idea in just a minute why I haven't been home for 10 years," I explain, knowing the second Seth gets out of the truck that there will be no doubts as to whose son he is. "Not a word, Jake. Seth doesn't know yet and I think he deserves to hear the truth from me first."

I watch my dad hop out of the truck and walk around to my son's door, opening it and helping him climb down. He looks around for a second before he sees me up on the front porch and then starts sprinting towards me. I catch the gasp of surprise beside me as Jake gets his first good look at Seth and whisper under my breath pleadingly, "Not a word, please," right before he launches himself into my arms.

"Mom, did you see the dead deer on the side of the road? Grampa said that it was about to explode 'cause of all the gasses trapped inside it. Wouldn't that be awesome, watching it explode? Do ya think it'd get all over the road? I bet it would. Can I go see my room now? Grampa said we could paint it today and that it should be ready for me to sleep in tonight, but if it wasn't that we could camp out in the backyard so the paint fumes don't turn me stupid. You wanna sleep out in the tent with us Mom, huh? You could, but it might be a little crowded with me and Grampa and Rodney…" He stops talking for a minute to look around, noticing for the first time that we're not alone. "Hey, who's this and where's Rodney? I gotta make sure he's okay after all that time without his heat lamp."

"Seth, Rodney is just fine. He's in the car and I checked on him when I got here. He's nice and warm, I promise. Now, can you take a breath and say hello to my friend Jake?"

"Oh wow, you're Jake? My mom has told me all kinds of stories about when you and her were young. But I didn't expect you to be so big," my son says with wonder and awe sparkling in his eyes as he looks up at my childhood buddy.

"Yeah, your mom and me got into all kinds of stuff when we were about your age, I'll have to tell you all about it. I'm real happy to meet you Seth. I have a son who's almost 8 and he'll be in third grade this year. What about you?" Jake asked, looking up at me in curiosity as if I don't already know that I have a lot of explaining to do in my near future.

"I'll be in fourth grade this year 'cause I just turned 9. I got this really cool Lego set for my birthday. Does your son like to play with Legos, 'cause Legos are awesome. What's your son's name?"

"His name is Jacob Riley, but we call him JR for short since my name is Jacob too. And yes, he likes Legos. I think you guys'll get along great. In fact, I invited your mom and you to our house this weekend. It's JR's sister's birthday, so I know he'll like having another guy there to help him stay away from all the girls."

"Cool," Seth agrees as he rushes off to the passenger side of my car, wrenching the door open and letting a flying ball of fur out in the process. "Mom! Fluff-ball got out. It wasn't my fault, I swear. I just opened the door and he ran out."

"It's fine," I yell back to him, watching as my cat starts marking his new territory. I wait a few minutes, letting him have his fun peeing on the bushes before I scoop him up and toss him through the front door to explore his new home. My son, on the other hand, has already talked one of the other guys into helping him extract the terrarium, skittish dragon and all, and carry it into the house. Seth is explaining the intricacies of lizard care to the young man as they walk past Jake and I and I can't help but giggle as it looks like the poor guy is ready to start taking notes for a possible quiz later on.

"So he's Edward's huh?" Jake asks me quietly after the front door closes behind them.

"Yeah," I sigh, "but please, not now. I'll tell you everything later, okay Jake?"

"Sure, sure… later. How about a few beers while we're at it. I have a feeling we both might need it for this one."

"I think you might be right Jake," I say, knowing that the story behind my son's birth is going to piss him off, "but how about you give me a couple of days to get settled in before we do it."

"Sounds good. Hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner this week? You can meet my Rosie and the kids, and then we can talk without Rosie feeling threatened and the kids'll be occupied with each other. It'll be win-win for everyone involved."

"That sounds fine Jake, just talk it over with your wife and let me know when. I'm assuming you still have Dad's home number, right?" I wait for him to nod and then add, "Ok, give me a call here then and we'll get together, but for now, let's get this stuff unloaded and set up. I need to get started on getting us settled in so we don't have to camp in the backyard tonight. Regardless of what the kiddo wants, there's no way in hell I'm sleeping in a tent with both him and my dad after a day filled with beer, soda and pizza."

Jakes just laughs loudly as he walks away, meeting up with the other guys unloading my son's furniture from the moving van. I sigh and head for my car where I open the trunk and begin the process of hauling my hanging clothes towards my new closet; the one in my dad's old room in the house I grew up in. There is something oddly prophetic about my past meeting my future here in Forks… I just hope that the present will be bearable for now, and that I will be able to merge our lives into those of the town's without too much pain for either me or my son.

With Charlie's cancer so far advanced, I already know that this won't be an easy time for the three of us, but I hate to think of Seth dealing with watching his Grampa die _and_ finding out that his father is a grade-A asshole who wanted to dispose of him. I already know I can't spare Charlie his inevitable pain, but I want to spare my son his own pain if at all possible.


	3. Better Days

**Chapter 3 (Better Days- Goo Goo Dolls):**

"Alright Miss Swan, if there are no further questions, I'll need you to initial here, here and here, and sign and date it here," Harry Clearwater, my father's lawyer says as he takes a quick moment to flip through all of the marked pages to show me where I need to sign to officially take over care for my father. As of this moment, I am in charge of his life and nothing could scare me more. Power or Attorney, Living Will, DNR, house and property deeds, car and boat titles, Life Insurance policy and the scariest of them all, my father's Last Will and Testament. I'm now more intimately involved in my father's end of life decisions than I ever would have dreamed to be, but I know it's a necessary evil if I'm to make sure that he dies with the same dignity that he has lived throughout his life. It is now my sole responsibility to make sure that all of his wishes are carried out.

I know where he wants his memorial service to be held because he doesn't want a funeral. I know the exact spot- right down to the GPS coordinates- of where he wants his ashes to be spread on his favorite fishing hole and by whom. I even know which pair of underwear he wants to be cremated in and why that particular pair was chosen. (Trust me when I say that there are some things a daughter doesn't need to know.) I know that all of his fishing equipment is going to Billy with the condition that Billy teaches my son how to fish and that he takes on the role of stand-in Grampa when Charlie passes.

The clauses and legal speak I just spent the last hour listening to will haunt me for years. My father has thought this through in a way that, though sad, I can't help but admire. He's leaving nothing to chance, he says it's to protect me from having to make a decision that I shouldn't have to make, but I know it's more because he doesn't want me to feel guilty if I have to choose between keeping him alive one more day just because the doctors can do it or letting him go peacefully when he's ready. I cannot help but think of all the thought that went into each of the decisions I see in black and white before me now as I silently shed a tear along with my last signature on the page.

Solemnly Harry shakes first my father's hand then clasps my own, handing me a business card in the process. "Here, take this. You can call me if you have any questions about any of the paperwork or if anyone gives you a hard time about anything in it. I am available 24/7; I've listed my home number on there for you as well. You will need to call me when he passes, as there are some things that only I can sign. Because we've already had this sit down today, things should move very smoothly afterwards," he says steadily before taking a deep breath and continuing, "On a more personal level Bella, your dad and I have been friends for years. If you need anything, and I do mean anything, don't hesitate to call me or Sue, please. We want to help in any way possible."

"I know Harry, you already have. I know that Dad has been picking your brain to make all of this as easy as possible for me and to give himself some peace of mind. I just hate it though, ya know. He's spent his entire life protecting this town and there's nothing anyone can do except try to pretend he's not sick," I sniffle as I grip Harry's hand while he carefully slips his other arm around my shoulder and pulls me in for a hug.

"You have always been like a niece to Sue and I, that won't change. Sue wants to come by and help you out when it gets closer to the end. Since her heart attack she's irritated that she can't work anymore and it would give her something to do."

"I would really appreciate it, please let her know."

"Will do Bella. I'll see you later at his party, but you better get going before the old goat leaves without you," Harry says, laughing at the fact that my father has already gotten into his cruiser and started it up, staring at us impatiently.

"Yup, see you in a bit."

Charlie is already backing out of the parking spot before I can even get my door shut as I'm trying to get buckled in. "Are you in a hurry or something? Got a hot date you didn't tell me about, huh?"

"Well I just thought that we should hurry so that you and Seth can get over to the school and get him enrolled. School starts next week you know, and I wouldn't want him to miss any days because you couldn't get there before they close the office up today."

I laugh at his reasoning, knowing that my son wouldn't mind missing any school, whatever the reason, and I tell him as much. He responds with an all-encompassing grunt like I figured he would, but then surprises me by saying that he just wants to make sure that he's going to be taken care of, since his asshole of a father won't have anything to do with him.

I can't hold back another silent tear as I think of all the ways life would be different for my son if Edward hadn't walked out so many years ago, but then I think about being a part of the life he always wanted and I just can't picture us living that way either. The Cullens are just so precocious, so uppity, that there is no way either Seth or I could ever be comfortable trying to conform to their world. All in all, I happen to think that our lives are better off not being tied up with theirs.

Just as I figured, Seth tries to come up with any excuse to get out of enrolling at Forks Elementary. He's all frowns and groans on our way there and all but digs his heels in as I pull him along behind me and into the front office. He sits sullenly in one of the chairs while I fill out all the paperwork and show all of his documentation. The secretary, Mrs. Cope, asks us to have a seat while she puts him in the computer right away on the off chance that when she gets his class assignment his new teacher may still be in the building.

It turns out to be a good thing we waited because Mr. Whitlock is indeed still setting up his classroom when he is informed that he will be getting a new student. Mrs. Cope gives me directions to the fourth grade hallway and tells us that Seth's classroom is room 4B. Seth drags his feet the entire way down the hall, mumbling under his breath the whole time. When we finally turn into the room, I am startled to see what appears to be a Greek Adonis-type man standing on a chair, his crotch right at eye level and literally right in my face.

"Holy crap!" I shout, obviously scaring the man and causing him to almost lose his balance, not to mention scaring my son. "Oh, um… Sorry, I didn't mean to run into you. Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, just a bit mortified. That's not usually the way I like to greet my new students and their families, but at least it cuts the tension," he says, indicating my now laughing child with a nod of his head. "I'm Mr. Whitlock, by the way, and this must be my new student, Seth Swan. Mrs. Cope paged me to let me know you were on your way, but I figured I had a few more seconds to hang my class motto above the door. Sorry again about the not-so-appropriate greeting..."

He says all of this while taking in my still chuckling child. I watch as a glimmer of recognition enters his eyes and before he can open his mouth to say something I'm not ready for my son to hear, I pull him into the hallway so we can speak privately. I quickly shout over my shoulder to my son that I need to talk to Mr. Whitlock for a moment and that he needs to stay inside the classroom for a minute by himself.

"Oh wow, where did you say you're from? Because I swear he looks exactly like my fiancée's brother. Heck, I'd swear he was a Cullen if I didn't know better."

My eyes narrowed at his comment and I was suddenly unsure how to proceed. "Mr. Whitlock, who is your fiancée and how well do you know the Cullens?" I ask between clenched teeth.

"Alice Cullen and I have been engaged for some time now, and I know the Cullens about as well as I'd like to. Now, is there something that I should be aware of, 'cause I gotta tell you that that boy looks like a carbon copy of her brother Edward, only Edward ain't got no kids yet, if you know what I'm saying."

"I do know what you're saying," I sigh, "Mr. Whitlock…"

"I have a feeling that you might be needing to call me Jasper here pretty soon, so why don't you just go ahead and start with it now," he interjects as I start talking.

"Thank you Jasper. I'm Isabella Swan, but you can call me Bella," I say as I stick my hand out to shake his in introduction, still wary about what I need to tell this man. "Anyways, Seth _is_ Edward's biological son, though he has nothing to do with him- by Edward's choice I assure you- but Seth doesn't know. I wouldn't normally feel the need to divulge that kind of info on a first meeting like this, but this year is going to be tough enough on him already and I need to make sure that you can handle teaching him without adding to his already high stress by not knowing anything about his father. Second, I need to be assured that you can treat him like any other child in your classroom or I will happily march us back into that office and kindly demand that Mrs. Cope assign him a different teacher this afternoon."

"You said that this year will be tough enough for him, can I ask why before I make any decisions?" he asks tentatively.

"We're back in Forks to help my father, Police Chief Swan, die as comfortably and dignified as possible considering his advanced illness. Seth is going to need more support than I can give him alone and I don't want him to have to deal with more than he's already facing watching his grandfather die in front of him. He deserves this chance to get to know my dad and I can't let Edward ruin it for him, not now." I tell Jasper this, gauging his reaction to my words, hoping for an indicator that he can be trusted. This man gives off soothing and calming vibes, something that I think would benefit Seth throughout this ordeal, but if he can't get over the whole Edward issue, I won't be able to trust my son in his classroom.

"Miss Swan, Bella… Um… Okay, I'll lay everything out on the table for you because it seems like you need complete honesty here," he says while taking a deep breath. "Yes, I am engaged to Alice and have been for over five years now. There's a reason for the lengthy engagement though, and it's not because she doesn't want to be married. It's because I don't want to be related to that family.

"I love my Alice, but even she can be too much sometimes, and don't even get me started on her parents. I'm assuming that they don't know about that little boy in there, and while I don't think it fair for you to keep them out of his life, I have to respect the fact that you are his mother and have complete decision making power over everything related to him.

"My job, should you allow me to do it, will be to help him through the fourth grade and to help him with any kind of support he needs while under my supervision. My personal feelings have nothing to do with how I treat each and every one of my students, nor can I imagine that they will in any way interfere with his education. The day that they do is the same day that I will need to retire from teaching."

I take a moment and let his words sink in while looking into his eyes, trying to decide if this is a man that I can trust or if he'll be yet another tool in the Cullen's extensive tool belt. There's something about him, something that makes me relax and want to believe that he won't hurt my child, so I take a breath and place my hands on my hips, and say, "Alright Jasper, we'll try it. Just so you know though, Edward does know about Seth, he has since the moment I found out I was pregnant, but he has no rights to Seth. None at all, because he signed them away before he was even born, so under no circumstances is he to be contacted in any fashion concerning my son. Are we clear on that?" I wait to see if he's willing to agree to that or not. When he only nods, I decide to keep going.

"I met with Edward last week to tell him that Seth and I were moving back to Forks and he informed me at that time that he had never told his family about Seth. I realize that I will not be able to keep Seth's parentage a secret, it'll be out there for everyone to see the first time we walk into a store or down the street.

"This is a small town, one that I grew up in, and one where Edward and I dated for the summer before going off to college. Trust me when I say that I'm well aware everyone will know immediately, but I desperately want it to be a place where both Seth and I can feel at home and safe, no matter what happens. I expect you, as his teacher, to continue to nurture that feeling in his classroom should the other kids start saying unkind things as well.

"As I mentioned before, my father is very ill and will not be recovering. We came home to take care of him since he's almost at the point where he can no longer care for himself. When that time comes, or even worse, when my father actually dies, Seth will be an emotional basket case. My question to you is this; can you teach him and watch over him in a professional manner during the day, knowing that he will one day be your nephew but that your in-laws will never acknowledge him?"

"I'm sure I can, Bella. I can assure you that my dealings with Alice's family will not hinder my ability as a teacher, nor do I think that any bond he and I might form will be detrimental to him. I can however tell you that I am in no way close to the Cullens, other than Alice of course.

"Neither Carlisle nor Esme think that I am good enough to become part of their family, though to her credit, Alice has fought hard against them on our pending marriage. As for Edward, both he and Tanya have their heads stuck so high up his parents' behinds they can smell their breath. It doesn't surprise me that he chose not to tell them about your son, though it does make me wonder how he thought he could keep it from them indefinitely. But then again, knowing Edward, he probably figured you would never come back to Forks."

"Oh Jasper, I think we might just get along after all," I chuckled. "Jake is gonna get such a kick outta this, I can't wait to tell him that my son's teacher is Edward's soon-to-be brother-in-law. He's gonna die laughing."

"Wait, you wouldn't happen to be talking about Jake Black, would you?"

"Yeah, why? Jake and I have known each other since we were both in diapers. I'm actually going over there sometime this week to officially meet his wife and kids," I answered.

"Seriously? Well Bella, I have a feeling that we will be getting to know each other very well then, because Jake just so happens to be one of my closest friends. He's also my next door neighbor, so we spend a lot of time together, along with Rosie's brother Emmett."

Later that night Seth and I are enjoying listening to the stories about Charlie that are being told by the guys he's worked with throughout his career when I suddenly look up and see a couple of familiar and unwanted faces entering The Lodge. I watch as Esme and Carlisle are shown to a table near the kitchen and send up a silent prayer that she won't see my son tonight. I don't want anything to disturb the fun atmosphere of Charlie's retirement party, but it would seem that my luck has finally run out.

Shortly after being seated, Esme's eyes wander over to our boisterous party and land solidly on Seth seconds later. I watch her eyes widen in shock and surprise at the obvious resemblance to her own son, then narrow in anger as they settle on me. She immediately grabs Carlisle's hand, getting his attention, and directing it towards us. There is a moment of animated conversation and frantic hand gestures followed by Esme pushing away from their table, rising and walking towards ours.

"Congratulations on your retirement Chief Swan, I hope you enjoy many years of leisure after your years of dedicated service to our community," Esme says sweetly to my father as her perfectly manicured hand rests gently on his shoulder. Gasps of horror can be heard as multiple people suck their breath in sharply in surprise at Esme's faux pas. Either she genuinely has no idea that my father is retiring due to his cancer being terminal or she has deliberately insulted him, but it seems nobody is completely sure which one it is.

"Ah, Mrs. Cullen, I'd like to say that it's so nice to see you, but... You are well, I assume?" he pauses to see her reaction and she nods her head demurely. "I, however, cannot claim the same. I guess you weren't aware that I have pancreatic cancer and have to retire because I can no longer do my job. My friends and family are here to help me celebrate my life and to pretend for a few minutes that I'm not slowly dying. Honestly, we were doing a pretty good job until you decided to barge in where you were not invited. So thank you for reminding me that I should have many years ahead of me but don't while people like you and your family are doing just fine. In fact, why don't you just head back to your husband and leave us the hell alone." My father's speech has everyone at the table blinking rapidly and smiling in approval. It seems none of Forks' Finest are happy to see a Cullen at our table.

"Actually Chief Swan, I came over to speak with your daughter, though I am appalled that you would choose to speak to me the way you just did. I have done nothing to warrant such animosity from a public servant such as yourself."

"A public servant such as myself, huh? As of 6 o'clock this evening, I am no longer a _mere public servant_, and now I can finally say and do the things I've always wanted to. So there's nothing holding me back when I tell you to mind your own fucking business and leave my daughter and grandson the hell alone."

As I see things starting to escalate I look at my dad and tell him that I don't mind talking to Esme for a few minutes and try to let him know silently that I don't want to do it in front of Seth. He gives me a small nod, letting me know that he understands and waves me off. I grab Esme's elbow lightly as I excuse myself from the table and steer her towards the restrooms at the back of the restaurant.

"Alright, say your peace. But then you _will_ let me say mine," I growl at her as soon as the ladies room door closes behind us.

"You are in no position to tell me what I will or won't do," she states haughtily. "However I will tell you that whatever it is that you're planning will not work. Edward and Tanya are happily married and no bastard child will tear them apart. He didn't want you ten years ago and he certainly won't want you now. I don't care that you obviously kept his child from him, and by extension, us. What I care about is that you understand that just because you are the child's mother doesn't give you any access to my son or his wallet."

"Fine. Understood. Now you will listen to me. First, my child is no bastard, and I hate that you would use that term for your own grandchild, though if I have my way he'll never know his connection to people as vile as your family. Second, don't believe for one minute that I didn't tell Edward about my son as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to share his child with him, even if we weren't together. He, on the other hand, decided that I needed to have an abortion.

"When I decided that I couldn't do it and that I'd rather have my baby than an abortion, he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. He legally signed away his rights a couple of months before Seth was born. So Esme, as far as I am concerned my son may be related to Edward by blood, but he is not my son's father.

"As for me wanting to come between him and Tanya or wanting to get into his wallet, neither could be farther from the truth. The day I signed the paperwork that relinquished Edward from being responsible for my son was the day that I cut any strings I ever might have had to his wallet. I know that and so does Edward. If you have a problem believing me, why don't you go ask him? If he refuses to tell you the truth, I have the paperwork that proves he was well aware of my situation and that he deliberately chose not to tell you that you have a grandson. That is not my problem though, because as far as Seth knows, he's only got Grampa Charlie and that's always been good enough for him.

"I came back to Forks for one reason only and that is so my son could finally make some memories with my father. I stayed away for the past ten years because I wanted to shelter my son from your family and all of the hatred it creates and now I have been forced to bring him into this town and let him be talked about as if he were nothing more than a side show, but know that I will not stand idly by and allow any of you to hurt him in any way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I hope you have a good dinner Esme, but you and I are done."

I walk calmly back to our table and smile weakly at my father as I sit back down between him and my son. Dad grabs my hand and squeezes it gently as he leans in towards my ear, whispering the sweetest seven words I've ever heard him say to me.

"I'm so proud of you, Baby Girl."


	4. We Are Young

**Chapter 4 (We Are Young- Fun.):**

Jake met me at their front door Thursday night with an adorable looking little girl thrown over his shoulder who is giggling uncontrollably. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are sparkling and with just a glance it's easy to see that this is a man who loves his daughter.

"Daddy! Spin me again, please! I wanna fall down in circles again!" the little girl says excitedly, her hands slapping at Jakes wide shoulders.

"Hold up Jillybean, I gotta say hi to my good friend Belly. Hey there Belly, hey big guy. What's shakin' bacon?" he says, holding his closed fist out to fist bump my son.

"Not much Sir," Seth says with an amused smile as he knocks knuckles with Jake.

"Oh God, no! Not 'Sir', please, anything but 'Sir,'" Jake imitates a look of horror before gently placing his daughter on the ground and then turning abruptly and hauling my son off the ground before Seth can even think of escaping his clutches. "Can an old man do this Seth, huh? 'Cause only old men are called 'Sir' around here, and I am most certainly not old."

Seth is laughing so hard by this time that I can't help but laugh right along with him. I watch in amusement as Jake and Seth laugh and play in the foyer of Jake's house, pausing only long enough for Jake to place my son on the ground and take both his daughter's and my son's hand, leading them into a large room that looks like a toy bomb recently exploded in it.

"This here is the playroom. It was originally supposed to be an office, but Rosie and I figured the kids needed it more," he explains over his shoulder to me. "Seth, I'd like to introduce you to JR." Pointing to a boy who's huddled over a table in the corner, Jake looks at my son and says, "I told him that you like to build stuff with Legos, so I think he has every set he owns down here tonight. Hey, JR, come meet my man Seth here."

As the boy turns around I am struck by just how much he looks like Jake- only a fairer version. Instead of having Jake's dark features, the boy has light brown hair, golden brown eyes and lightly tanned skin. Whereas his daughter is blond and has dark blue eyes and there's the fact that she looks very little like Jake, this little boy could never be mistaken for anything but Jake's son, much like Seth and his father's looks. My heart immediately starts to break, knowing that my son will never be able to have the kind of relationship with his father that Jake and JR have.

Seth timidly walks towards the other boy and quietly introduces himself while Jake and I watch for a few minutes as the two boys bend over the table and start working together to build some amazing Lego city or something like that. I am entranced watching the two of them; Seth has never been very close to any of his other classmates, so I don't get to witness him interacting with other kids his age too often. I swell with pride seeing the manners he's been taught come to the surface as he patiently watches JR for a minute before he starts working with the younger boy. I see a small smile working its way across his face as he slowly relaxes and as Jake puts a DVD in for his daughter I hear the boys laughing quietly amongst themselves.

Jake gets my attention silently by placing his hand on my shoulder and indicates that I should follow him by jerking his head in the direction of the doorway. Once we step through, he tells me that Seth will be fine and that he wants to introduce me to his Rosie. He starts walking down the hallway towards what I can only assume is the kitchen and I am proven correct as we walk into a beautiful and spacious kitchen where, standing in the middle of the spacious room, is one of the most physically stunning women I have ever seen.

"Rosie, this is Bella Swan, but I've only ever called her Belly. I don't think she'd be too happy if you called her that though. Hell, I don't think she's too happy that I keep calling her that either, but oh well. Anyways, Bella this is my Rosie." He steps back and introduces her with a sweeping hand gesture that neither I nor _his Rosie_ can help but laugh at.

"Rosalie, the last time I saw you was in high school and you certainly didn't look like you do now. Jake's obviously a lucky man. You're beautiful." I can't stop the words from coming out of my mouth, but to her credit Rosalie simply smiles and walks towards me to pull me in for a tight hug.

"Bella Swan, it has been a while, huh? Jake has been so excited ever since he saw you on Sunday. All I've heard is 'Belly this' and Belly that'. I've gotta say, if I wasn't so sure that boy loved me, I might just have to be worried," she says still smiling, "And don't worry, I won't call you Belly if you'll call me Rose. Only Jake calls me Rosie anymore. Emmett used to but I kicked his ass last time he did it and he hasn't done it since."

"It's a deal, Rose, call me Bella." I say, glad that she doesn't seem to have any hard feelings regarding the easy relationship that Jake and I have fallen back into almost effortlessly. "So, is there anything I can help you with? I asked Jake if there was anything you wanted me to bring and he told me not to even think about bringing anything tonight, so I feel kinda guilty showing up empty-handed."

"Nope, I told him that I had everything covered. If you really want to help you can make the salad, but I really wanted to give you the chance to just relax and catch up."

I eagerly walk over to the counter beside the sink where all of the produce for the salad has been placed and begin chopping the lettuce for rinsing. Glad to have something to occupy my hands, I am more than happy to carry on a conversation with Rose and Jake. After a few minutes Jake announces that he's going to go start the grill and makes his way into the backyard. Just seconds later there's a sharp knock on the front door.

Rose grabs for a hand-towel and begins to walk towards the hallway when a loud voice yells hello. The voice is immediately followed by a chorus of excited children's voices squealing and if I didn't know better, I'd think there were at least 20 kids in the house with all of them chanting the words 'Uncle Em' over and over. Rose smiles widely and makes her way back into the kitchen, telling me that he'll be a few minutes with the kids but that he'll make his way to the kitchen eventually.

"Oh Ro-ose… where are you sweet sister of mine? It's me, your favorite brother, you know, the one you love the mostest…" I hear his voice sing-songing its way down the hallway and into the kitchen and turn to face him to introduce myself. I literally suck in my breath as the most amazing looking man steps through the doorway. He's tall and built, his shoulders nice and wide, but not as wide as his smile. His brown eyes are twinkling and his dark hair has just enough body to it to make me want to run my fingers through it over and over again. Once he notices that Rose is not alone in the kitchen he stops abruptly, staring at me before he finds his voice once more.

"Holy shit… it's Bella Swan... here… in your house. Rose, um…" he trails off, his mouth moving like a fish's with nothing coming out but a few strangled sounds. I gotta say, I always did think that Emmett was pretty cute while we were in high school, and even though we never hung out with the same people I might have had a bit of a crush on him. But as good as Mother Nature has been to Rose since I left Forks, it's clear to see which of the McCarty siblings she really likes. Can someone say Yumm-O?

"Ok, so Bella, this is my brother, Emmett McCarty. I don't know if you remember him from high school, but it's pretty obvious the stupid guy remembers you," she says jokingly as she reaches over and holds his mouth closed. Turning to him she says, "And yes Em, this is Bella Swan. Her and Jake have been friends for years and now that she's back home to help Charlie out I'm sure she'll be around quite often. Now, why don't you pretend to be something other than a Neanderthal and put your expensive college education to good use by actually speaking real words this time?"

"Yeah, um… So I didn't know that you guys had company and I was just stopping by 'cause all I got at home is ramen noodles, some fuzzy fruit, a few canned surprises without labels and chunky milk. I was going to go grocery shopping but I'm starving now and we both know how that goes. But you have a guest so I'll just be going," he says as he starts to walk out of the kitchen. Though I have no right to invite him to stay, my mouth is working so much faster than my brain at the moment.

"Please don't go!" I shout out, then cringe and slap my hand over my mouth in embarrassment.

He stops, pausing in place for a moment before he turns and meets my eyes. Without letting go of my gaze he calls out to his sister, "Is that alright Rose, you and Jake wouldn't mind if I stay for dinner?"

I hear the amusement in her voice as she tells him that is isn't a problem; she has enough food either way, besides he should know by now that he is always welcome at their table. I finally pull my eyes away from his as all three of the kids come stampeding through the kitchen and out the sliding glass doors into the backyard. I look around, wondering what the heck just happened to me. I have never had such an intense reaction to any man before, but I do notice Rose looking back and forth between her brother and me before she gently shakes her head and shoos him out the door as well. Shutting it behind him, she turns to me and says, "Well that was unexpected and interesting, that's for sure."

One hour and one amazing dinner later Jake, Rose, Emmett and I are sitting at the dinner table watching the kids play in the fenced-in backyard through the glass doors, each of us rubbing full bellies. "So, who's going to finally say something about the elephant in the backyard?" Jake asks, breaking the contentment each of us is feeling.

I sigh, knowing that I need to explain everything to Jake, and that it will be easier to tell all of them at once, so I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, needing to fortify my courage before I start. "Seth is Edward Cullen's son. Edward and I were together the summer after our senior year and I thought we were in love, though apparently he had a different view of things. I found out I was pregnant about a month after I started at UW and I called and told him, stupidly thinking that he would be just as scared as I was but that he would be excited too. He told me that he couldn't talk just then, but that he'd talk to me soon. I called every day for the next two weeks and never got anything more than his voicemail until I got out of class one day and he was waiting for me in my dorm room. My roommate had let him in, and I thought that he had come to tell me that he loved me, that he wanted things to work and that we would do everything together." I stop for a second, internally smirking at the younger Bella and her stupid hopes, dreams and naiveté before continuing on.

"I was young and idealistic. I thought that the differences between Edward's upbringing and my own wouldn't mean anything compared to our love. Well, it turns out I was wrong. I was wrong about so many things concerning him because Edward wasn't there to comfort me or to love me; he was there to take care of the trash. He told me that he had already set up an appointment for that afternoon to 'get rid of the problem'. I couldn't believe that was how he thought of my pregnancy. I mean sure, it was an accident, but accidental pregnancies happen all the time. I told him that I couldn't kill my baby and he told me then that he wasn't ready to be a father, that he had a 'plan' for his life and that me and a baby were never part of that plan long term."

"That asshole, I can't believe we're actually related to him," Emmett growled.

"No shit, he's always thought his shit don't stink, just like Aunt Esme. She seems to forget that she grew up on the poor side of town, or at least she'd like to," Rose replies.

"Wait, you guys are related to the Cullens?" I ask, suddenly filling up with worry that I've said too much already.

"Yeah, Esme and our mom are sisters, though you'd never know it. They used to be super close until she met Dr. Carlisle, then she abandoned the rest of her family and became the uppity bitch she is today. Needless to say, there are no warm and snuggly family get-togethers with them. The last time we were in the same room together was when Granny Platt died 7 years ago, and that was just her making a token appearance to look like the doting daughter," Rose says in way of an explanation. "But I gotta say I am more than a little surprised to know that Edward has a son and no one knew about it. I'd figure that their side would've fought you to get custody of him, you know, like they probably wouldn't want anybody but a Cullen raising him."

"Oh they can try," I say, "But it won't do them any good. Legally, he isn't related to any of them anymore. Edward made sure of that when I refused his constant demands that I terminate the pregnancy. As soon as I entered into my third trimester I was served paperwork from his attorney stating that he wished to sever all his parental rights and that he did not want the child to have his name. I had to undergo an amniocentesis DNA test to prove that Seth was Edwards first and then as soon as it was positive, he signed the papers and made sure that his attorney watched me sign them too. By that time I was more than ready to be done with him, so it wasn't even an issue. I knew that Seth and I would be better off without him than the other way around."

"Jesus Belly, why didn't Charlie say anything? I would've been in Seattle in a heartbeat to help you out," Jake says quietly, a tone of anger underlining his words. "Forget Seattle, why didn't you just come home where you had plenty of people who would've stood beside you? We could've helped you and you wouldn't have had to be alone."

"I know that Jake, and I appreciate it, I really do. But I couldn't face you or this town knowing how stupid I had been. I knew that there would be gossip and that it would create more problems than I was ready to face." I tell him, "Anyways, Seth was born in May and Dad came down to stay with me for a few weeks. My dad helped out after that by paying for Seth's daycare and the part of my rent that wasn't covered by my housing allowances for the next three years so I didn't have to work, and then after I finished school I got a job in Tacoma. Dad and I talked over the years about how I had made a life for Seth and I in Tacoma after school and that besides him, there was nothing left for me here in Forks. It wasn't until almost two weeks ago that he called and finally told me about the cancer and asked me to come home and to help for him. If it weren't for my dad being sick I probably never would've come back."

"But still Bella, no one knew anything about you having a kid. Charlie never said a word," Jake says again.

"Billy and Harry knew," I whisper, knowing that it'll probably piss Jake off to know that his father knew and kept it a secret.

"What? Dad and Uncle Harry knew but I didn't? How does that shit work?" Jake asks me angrily.

"Because I had dad ask them not to say anything about it to anyone, especially to you." Jake gasps in what I assume is pain, but I hurry and continue explaining before he can say something. "Jake, there was a reason behind it. Do you know what the very first thing my dad said to me after Seth was born? He told me that Seth needed a father and that he knew that you would step in and take that spot if I would only ask you. And you know what, I knew you would. Not because you were in love with me, but because you were my best friend and it would kill you to know that I was hurting or struggling. I couldn't do that to you. The last time I talked to you, you told me that you had met someone special and that you thought she might be _The One_. I'm assuming now that it was Rose, but it was that conversation that made me realize that we needed to stop talking. I couldn't fuck your life up the way that I did mine. So I changed my number the next day." It wasn't until Emmett leans over and wipes a tear off my cheek that I even realize that I'm crying.

"Oh my God, I remember that conversation. I remember being so excited to tell you about Rosie but feeling like you were telling me goodbye forever when we hung up. I tried to call you for months after that, begging Charlie for your new number and him telling me that he didn't have it either. I knew he was lying, but I finally decided that you just didn't want to be my friend anymore. Shit Belly, that really tore me up."

"Okay, I just gotta ask… What the hell's up with you calling her Belly man? As far as I can remember, she's never been fat and it just doesn't make any sense to me." Emmett's question is a great distraction, cutting through the tension in the room like a knife, and causing all four of us to laugh for the first time since the heavy conversation started.

"Well see, I came up with the nicknames shortly after discovering Jelly Belly jelly beans when I was like four or something. So, since her name was Bella I started calling her Belly and I told her she could call me Jelly because my name started with a J and that together we were the best beans around. She only called me Jelly for a few years, but I've called her Belly ever since. It's why I call Jill Jillybean. Her personality reminds me of a younger Belly, one that I missed like crazy I might add." He adds the last part while looking pointedly at me.

"Oh my God Jake, I always wondered about the nicknames, but you really are weird, you know that right?" Rose says laughing sweetly and raises their entwined fingers to her mouth to kiss. "Anyways, now let's get back to the whole 'Edward is an ass' thing. What have you told Seth about him, or haven't you told him anything about his father?" she asks me.

"Um… kinda? Like I've told him that he does have a father, but when he was younger I just told him that his dad lived very far away. As he got older I've told him that his father and I lost contact years ago and then try to dodge any other questions by getting him interested in something else. So far it's worked, but I know it won't work forever. And now we're back here in Forks and Edward and his wife live across town, I don't know how to deal with this. I figured I had a few more years, years that would allow Seth to get old enough to understand that even though his father is an ass who wanted to get rid of him that I've always loved him enough for two parents. Seriously guys, how do you explain something like that to a 9 year old?"

"Have you thought about having him see a therapist?" Rose asks me carefully. "It seems to me like this year he's gonna be facing a whole hell of a lot between moving, watching Charlie waste away and die… I'm sorry, I know that that was very insensitive, but I don't know how else to say it. Anyways, between those two things and then being thrown into a town like Forks where the Cullens are practically royalty, he's bound to have some issues that you might not be able to solve for him."

"I've thought about it, Rose, I really have. I just need to get us settled before I think about it any harder."

"Hey Em, why don't you and I head out and round up the little ones while Rose and Bella relax a bit more. I think between the two of us we handle three kids under ten, don't you?" Jake suggests to Emmett in a sort of dare.

"Are you kidding me? You see these guns?" he asks Jake as he curls his arms up and flexes his surprisingly large and admittedly sexy biceps mere inches from my face. "I'd bet I can handle all three myself." And just like that the atmosphere changes from heavy into something a bit more fun.

Rose and I watch as the two of them start pushing and shoving each other on their way through the sliding doors before racing each other to where the kids are playing on the swing set. Jake stretches out his leg, trying to trip Emmett but failing to do so. It's like watching two little boys, a sentiment that Rose chooses to voice as she too watches them from besides me.

"I swear, sometimes I think that if I include Jake and Emmett I actually have four children," she says happily.

"I'm only surprised that you don't include them all the time anyways," I say in response.

We watch for a few minutes as the guys wrestle around with the kids, Jilly included, and I decide to ask Rose about her brother, but just as I start to ask, they all make a beeline for the door.

"Hey mom, guess what? Their Uncle Emmett teaches Karate, isn't that awesome? 'Cause I've always wanted to be a ninja. Hey Mr. Emmett, how long does it take to be a ninja? Think I could do it before I turn 10? Then my friend Jimmy would be so jealous." My son is so excited he's literally hopping around their kitchen, making all of us laugh at his antics.

"A ninja, huh? Well I tell you what, why don't I talk with your mom and we'll see what we can do about getting you started on your ninja training. Okay?" he says while ruffling Seth's hair and giving me a smile that sends my lady bits tingling for the first time in years.

Ninja training, huh… well why not? I wouldn't mind getting closer to those guns of his again either.


	5. Paranoia and the granny assassins

**Alright ladies, this chapter is nothing but fun. Several months have gone by since Bella met Emmett, and though a lot has happened since then I chose not to linger on day to day monotony. If you have read any of my other stories then you already know that I fill in most (but not all) blanks in my stories, but I assume that my readers are creative enough to have vivid imaginations of their own and are perfectly capable of reaching their own conclusions. Please keep that in mind for future chapters as the timeline will space out here and there from now on. Thanks! Sassy**

**-o0o-**

**Bonus Chapter 4 1/2 (Paranoia and the granny assassins):** (The name of this chapter is not derived from any song- just an FYI.)

I sit in my car for a few minutes of much needed quiet, going over my game plan one more time before I head into the packed grocery store. It's fairly simple as far as game plans go; get in, get the bird and get the hell out. With less than 24 hours to go until Thanksgiving it's guaranteed to be total chaos in there. Ugh, I hate grocery shopping on the best of days but holiday shopping just scares me. All those crazy women fighting over the last box of stuffing on the shelf like UFC fighters; I swear that one of these days Joe Rogan will be narrating their fights, slurred words and all.

I shake my head and climb out of my car, walking towards my own personal hell. The first set of automatic doors whoosh shut behind me and a shiver of impending doom courses through my already tense body as I stand alone in the purgatory of what is otherwise known as Forks Whole Foods entry way, the space between the two sets of doors that holds no other purpose other than to hold the carts. I reach out and grasp the cold metal handle of a shopping cart, groaning and wishing like hell that Forks had a grocer that delivers, before taking one last fortifying breath and squaring my shoulders as I push the cart through the next set of doors.

"Holy shit," I mumble under my breath as the crazed and panicked voices of the other shoppers hit me. I instantly feel my shoulders sagging under the wish to retreat and serve leftovers and boiled hot dogs for Thanksgiving instead of spending any amount of time in this store right now. When I look over at the produce section, my eyes roaming the mostly empty cold counters, they land on a man who looks to be in the middle of an anxiety attack. I watch him for a moment as he talks to himself and curiosity gets the better of me as I push my empty cart over close enough to him so that I can hear what he's saying, and have to stifle my laughter when I finally catch the string of barely discernible words.

"She'll kill me, I just know it. She told me to get the potatoes and some baking powder. She said they were important and that I shouldn't bother coming home until I got them… oh my God, there aren't any fucking potatoes, not one. No mashed potatoes, not even a box of scalloped potatoes, I can't go home without something though…" he continues to mutter as I walk away, my shoulders shaking with my mostly silent mirth.

I head towards the meat department, thankful that I had thought far enough ahead to pre-order my 30 pound turkey this year and that I already have everything else I will need to cook for the large group of Charlie's friends who are all coming to our house to celebrate his last Thanksgiving with him. I ring the bell for service and a harried looking butcher comes out to help me, but not before looking around to make sure there were no blue-haired granny assassins waiting for him to emerge from the safety of the cutting room.

"Can I help you ma'am?" he asks, his eyes still darting around warily.

"Please. My name is Bella and I got a call that my special order turkey had come in this afternoon."

"Ah yes, the big'en. I say, it might just be the biggest turkey I ever saw. Must be some shindig you're throwing, ta need a bird so big," he says as he disappears into the cooler. He returns carrying what I can only describe as the Godzilla of turkeys and as he sets it down into the empty basket of my cart I can't help but gasp; it takes up more than half of the damn thing. How the hell am I ever going to fit it in the oven? I'm brought out of my internal panic as the butcher starts to talk to me again. "Now, you need to be careful, that's the only turkey over 8 pounds left in the store. You head straight up to the register with that thing or you're liable to lose it to some crazy lady who waited too long to get her own. Run if you have to," he says, reminding me of the candy shop guy in _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_, before he stealthily slips back into the cutting room.

I notice a group of those crazy blue-haired ladies already eyeing my cart and instantly know that he's not overreacting in the slightest.

"Where did you get that turkey, young lady?" one of them asks as I try to walk past.

"I special ordered it," I answer, trying to be as polite as possible while I try to figure out if my shirt is large enough to try to pass the turkey off as an advanced pregnancy belly. "Shit," I mumble to myself as I realize it isn't. I speed up my steps as she tries to grab onto my cart, and thankfully I make it passed her and to the register fairly quickly, and mentally begin to frantically will the cashier to hurry as the other people in line begin to notice the sole occupant of my cart. I hear hushed whispers, the understated rumbling of muted voices getting louder as the other store patrons are trying to devise the best way to divest me of my prized bird.

Finally! It's my turn to check out and with the natives still plotting, when the cashier raises his eyes to meet mine. I grab the UPC tag, tearing it off and handing it to him. He scans it and I hold my breath, hoping that he won't need a price check knowing if he does, I'll be ambushed right here. They'll find my body at the bottom of a pile of bloodied granny assassins, I just know they will. Poor Charlie and Seth will have to make do with fish fry for Thanksgiving dinner, the only thing Charlie can make that's actually edible, while my epitaph will forever read 'Here lies Bella Swan. She was a good old bird.'

A beautifully high-pitched beep pulls me from my morbid daydreams as the price pops up on the screen and I hurry to swipe my debit card, speeding the transaction along. I blindly reach for my receipt, still hearing the people behind me saying unkind things about me and my long- dead female relatives.

I practically run out of the store, shoving the cart in front of me, hurtling towards my car and pop the trunk open with my key fob before I quite literally throw the gargantuan turkey in and slam the trunk closed. I quickly pry open my door, sliding in and immediately hit the door lock button, only releasing my breath as I hear the wonderful sound of the locks slipping into place. I know that as soon as I look up I'll be faced with an angry mob, pitchforks at the ready, so I steel myself to meet their eyes and look up to find… nothing but a parking lot full of cars and not a single person in sight.

"I am so never going holiday grocery shopping EVER again," I promise myself as I sit for a second in the peaceful silence of my car.

**-o0o-**

**LOL! I know that each and every one of you who has ever had to venture to the grocery store either the day before or – God Forbid (gasping for breath) – the day of a major holiday knows what Bella is feeling here. There's a certain holiday paranoia that sets in while you push the cart/buggy around that makes you wish there was a "product invisibility' button standard on every handle… and the blue-haired granny assassins are always the worst offenders! **


	6. Never Gonna Be Alone

**I hoped that you all enjoyed the last little bonus chapter. And now, onto Thanksgiving in the Swan household…**

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**Chapter 5 (Never Gonna Be Alone- Nickleback):**

Thanksgiving morning dawns bright and way too early, and I've got a shit load of work to get done between now and noon when everyone should be here to celebrate what will likely be Charlie's last holiday.

It brings tears to my eyes when I think about the fact that my father probably won't make it to Christmas, but the last few months have really taken their toll on his worn out body. Just last week he finally gave in and accepted the fact that he can no longer walk and has to use the motorized wheelchair we rented for him, but at least Seth thinks the chair is awesome and has taken to riding on the back as Charlie wheels himself around.

There have been other changes as well, some more obvious than others, like the fact that my father now looks like a walking skeleton and can barely keep any food down anymore. I've taken to adding Hershey's syrup to his meal shakes just to try to entice him to eat them, even going so far as to stop by JT's Sweet Stuffs shop everyday on my way home from work to pick him up a scoop of his favorite ice cream, just to keep his calorie count as high as we can. He says that it helps calm his stomach, though even that doesn't seem to be helping this week and he's no longer taking any of his medication either because they upset his delicate system too much these days, only using his automatic morphine pump to keep the worst of the pain at bay.

I make my way down the hall, already smelling the rich aroma of brewing coffee. Charlie may not be able to drink the wonder brew anymore, but no one makes a better cup of Joe than he does. I walk into the kitchen, sighing as I notice the dark bruises under his eyes are deeper, but then I have come to expect them nowadays.

"Did you get any sleep last night Dad?" I ask him wearily, already guessing at what the answer is.

"Not really baby girl, there's not much to cushion these old bones anymore, ya know," he answers, his voice even weaker this morning than it was last night.

"Dad," I start, but trail off as I notice that his hands are trembling when he reaches for an empty coffee mug for me, a new addition to his already long list of frailties. "Daddy, here, let me get that. Why don't you go and watch the morning news and let me know what's going on while I get the turkey ready for the oven. If I don't we'll have 16 very hungry guests and nothing to feed them."

"That's an awfully big bird, you sure it'll be done in time for lunch?"

"Yeah Dad, I actually Googled it and found out that you don't cook one this big the same way you would a smaller turkey."

"Really? I wouldn't think it'd be too different. What, do you cook it in the dishwasher or something?" he asks and the added sarcasm brings a rueful smile to my face. At least he hasn't lost his sense of humor yet.

"Very funny Smartass, I just meant that the cooking time doesn't rely on the weight once they reach twenty pounds. Anything over that and it's all about temp. According to their website, Better Homes and Gardens says that it should take about four and a half hours to reach 170 degrees and then it'll need to rest for about an hour before carving into it. That means I have less than a half an hour to get it buttered and seasoned and in the oven if it's gonna be ready for lunch, so you need to scooch on outta here and let me get to it." I smile at him as I say this, watching him wheel towards the living room and the new HD TV Harry brought over last month for him to watch the World Series.

After sticking the Godzilla bird in the oven I join Dad in a bit of channel surfing, and about the time Seth drags his sleep-tousled head downstairs, we settle on A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Watching this is as much of a Thanksgiving tradition for first Charlie and me, and then Seth and Charlie and me, as watching the Macy's Parade is. It makes me happy to get to do this one last time with both my father and my son, not just for myself, but so that Seth will have this memory to look back on as well. Seth crawls up into my lap and for the next hour we watch Snoopy and the gang in an HD-induced glazed-eyed silence and my father finally gets a few minutes of needed rest as he 'watches TV with his eyes closed'. When the credits start rolling at the end I glance at the time and hand Seth the remote as I quietly make my way back to the kitchen to baste the turkey and to get started on all of the side dishes.

Several hours later I'm just finishing up the garlic mashed potatoes when the doorbell rings the first time and then doesn't stop for the next ten minutes as Seth answers the door for all of our friends. Rose makes her way into the kitchen, along with Sue, and both ask if they can help in any way, so I point them towards the dishes and silverware piled on the dining room table and they get to work laying out all of the place settings. I return to the kitchen to check on the Stovetop stuffing, my dad's favorite, and stir the giblet gravy and am just about to call Jake in to carry the now rested turkey into the dining room when I'm startled by a pair of muscular arms sliding around my waist.

"Oh my God Bella, this house smells amazing. My mouth started watering the minute I walked in the door. Are you sure you're not a reincarnation of Granny Platt? 'Cause the last time I smelled anything this good was the last time we had Christmas at her house," Emmett says from right behind me, his deep baritone voice sending a shiver of desire down my spine.

"Nope. No reincarnations here, just me. Sorry Em. But since you're here, would you please carry the turkey out to the table for me? I was gonna call Jake, but well…"

"Of course Bella, me and my guns," he flexes his arms in what has become an inside joke between us over the past few months and grins, "would love to carry that big-ass bird to the table for you."

"Thanks Em," I start to say, but am interrupted by my excited son.

"Sensei, you're here! JR said that you weren't coming, but I knew that you would. I asked mom if I could wear my gi since you were gonna be here but she said that it was just for the Dojo. Why can't I wear it at home Sensei?" I listen to Seth and Emmett talk as he carries the turkey into the other room and attempts to explain to my son why a Karate uniform is only worn in a Dojo.

Over the last couple of months he and Seth have formed a close bond as his best friend's uncle, a close friend of mine, and as his Karate Sensei. Emmett's patience with his young (and not so young) Karate students is unbelievable. No matter how many times he has to repeat a move or a command, he does so with a smile on his face. All of his students love him, and the line of flushed and panting mothers at the end of class isn't too short either. I've received more than a few glares of undisguised loathing when he hugs me in the lobby.

I'd be lying if I say that I don't have a bit of a reaction myself. I love the peacefulness I feel for the few short seconds his arms are around me, but he never holds me for too long. Even when he occasionally joins Seth and I for dinner he is never anything less than respectable, a hand on my lower back now and then to guide me, but nothing more. And every touch from him definitely leaves me wanting more.

I'm brought out of my lust-filled musings by Seth and JR speeding through the kitchen on their way upstairs. "I'm just gonna show JR my new Lego set Mom, be right back. Don't start eating without us, 'kay?" he calls out half way up.

"You better hurry up guys, we're about to eat. You've got five minutes tops," I yell up after them.

"Yeah, or you stand the chance of not getting anything. The way this food smells, I might just eat it all myself before you get back down here," Emmett's booming voice adds over my shoulder; I hadn't even realized he'd returned to the kitchen. In a quieter voice he says to me with a wink, "Not that the food is the only thing that smells good in here."

I feel my telltale blush make its way over my cheeks and I try to turn away from him to hide it.

"It's true you know, right? You always smell so, so, so good to me," he whispers while pushing my hair away from one side of my neck, holding a thick lock in his hand and leans down towards my now bare neck.

_'Was that a kiss I felt or did he only brush his nose against my throat just now?'_ I ask myself as I try to keep my weak knees from giving out. I mentally take a second to hope it was a kiss, but knowing Emmett, I'm sure it wasn't. He just doesn't see me that way; I'm pretty certain that I'm only Seth's mom and Jake and Rose's friend to him, as well as a friend of his, but it's nothing more, no matter how much I wish there could be more between us. I sigh heavily and turn to face him, carefully schooling my features to keep the way I feel about him off my face.

"Thanks Em, I'll be sure to let Butterball know that they should bottle 'eau de Roasted Turkey' for men who like women who smell like meat. I'm sure it'll be a huge hit," I laugh out as I grab one of the many filled dishes off the counter and carry it to the dining table. Just as I walk through the doorway I swear I hear Emmett mumble something that sounds like _'I only wish they could bottle eau de Bella instead' _from the kitchen behind me.

The rest of the Thanksgiving meal goes by with an overabundance of laughter and jokes, satisfied moans and satiated groans from the food-stuffed friends gathered around our table. It isn't until I'm about to stand to clear the dinner plates that I realize that no one has made any mention about Charlie's illness. Everyone has avoided saying anything about it and I can't help but be grateful that this memory will not be tainted by his cancer taking center stage. I look to my father, noticing that very little of the food I placed on his plate is missing, but the look of joy at being surrounded by so many of the friends he has made during his lifetime here in Forks is humbling.

I quickly swipe at the wetness forming in my eyes and gather as many empty plates as I can carry and head to the kitchen without meeting anyone's eyes. Gently setting them on the empty kitchen counter, my sight grows more and more blurry as I let myself think about the fact that this is the last Thanksgiving I will ever share with my father. I grab onto the counter, using it to hold myself up, while I fight against my need to break down as the reality of his imminent passing hits me full force.

I am about to fall to the floor when I feel a pair of strong hands clasp onto my shoulders and lend me enough strength to walk to the breakfast nook. I feel myself being turned and lifted, then cradled on his lap against his wide chest and I nuzzle my wet face in tighter, inhaling his unique scent. His arms wrap around me, holding tight, letting me know that he is here for me and I take comfort in someone else for the first time in months.

"Shush sweetheart, its ok. I'm here and I won't let you go until you're ready, I promise," Emmett whispers gently to me. "Take your time Bella and just let me be here for you right now."

"It's just… I can't… He's gonna," I start and stop with each body-wracking sob. I don't know how to put my pain or my frustration into solid sentences. How does one damn the devil for taking their daddy away too early?

"I know baby, I know," he coos as his large hand smoothes over the hair at the top of my head and his warm words stirring several stray strands as he speaks into my hair. "You love him and it hurts, but nothing can take that away from you, not even the cancer. No matter what Bella, I promise that you'll never be alone. That man in there loves you with his whole heart, you and your wonderful son. I think it'll take something much bigger than mere death to keep him from watching over you guys. And you have so many friends who will help you through each and every day; all you have to do is ask." He kisses my temple and whispers the next bit straight into my ear, "Ask _me_ Bella, ask me and I'll be right here for as long as you need me."

"What if I'll always need you Em?" I whisper, scared to put my feelings for this man into words.

"Oh sweetheart," he sighs and tightens his already strong hold on me, "then I'll always be here. Just ask and I swear to you that I will be."

Without thinking I look up into his glossy blue eyes, noticing the moisture pooling along his lower lids along with something else behind them that I hadn't detected before now, and gather my courage. Once I have mustered as much of it as I can, I lift my face to his and brush a tender kiss across his lips, but I immediately start to pull back, scared that I just crossed a line that I should not have. However I'm halted before I can even break the kiss off by his arms tightening once more around me and pulling my body closer to his as his lips take over.

The kiss starts off tender and gentle but quickly gathers heat and soon our lips are moving quickly over each other's. When I feel the tip of his tongue trace my lower lip I gasp quietly in surprise and it's all the invitation he needs to thrust into my mouth, allowing me to taste the traces of cranberry sauce and gravy and something so inherently unique it can only be him and it helps me give myself over to this man and his kisses without reserve. His hands slide up my shoulders, over my neck and come to rest cupping my jaw lightly where he tilts my face just so, taking control of our mouths and uses his tongue to shatter any resistances I might have had to him. After a few wonderful minutes our passionate kisses start to become sweeter and more sedate before gently tapering off and ending altogether.

"Oh God Bella, you taste so sweet, just like I thought you would," he murmurs against my cheek as our lips separate from each other.

He holds me tight to his chest and I can hear his heart racing under my ear making me wonder if perhaps I wasn't the only one wishing for something more between the two of us I take a minute to just breathe, pulling his scent into my lungs and cherishing the calming effect it has on my body. After a couple more minutes spent in the safety of his arms I realize that the dining room is still full of people waiting for their pumpkin pie and try to pull myself out of his embrace.

"Whoa Bella, what's wrong?" Emmett asks worriedly, his hands holding me still on his lap.

"Nothing's wrong, I just remembered that all of Charlie's friends are waiting on dessert out there and we're in here, for God only knows how long, making them wait for the pie I promised them all," I answer quickly, more than just a bit afraid to meet his eyes and see any trace of regret for the kisses we just shared.

"Well that's good then, 'cause for a minute there I thought you might be running away from what just happened here," he says rather bluntly as he releases me.

I slide off of his lap and smooth my skirt down self-consciously. "Nope, not running, just pie," I answer and grab onto the little bit of courage still within my grasp and ask, "But Em, what did just happen here?"

"Something that I've been hoping and praying for for months, well, minus the tears anyways," he answers, grabbing my hand. "I've thought about kissing you since I first saw you standing in Jake and Rose's kitchen back in August. I was half in love with you back in high school Bella, and I find myself falling deeper and deeper every time I see you now. I see what a great mother you are and it makes me think of how you would look pregnant with my child. God that alone turns me on so much, I can barely keep my hands off of you when we're together. But I also know that now is not the time for anything to start between us, not with everything happening with Charlie. Not when I know that you need my friendship more. But just know that as soon as you're ready I will be too. And then I won't stop until you and Seth are mine forever."

While his declaration undoubtedly shocks me, when I look into his eyes and see all of the promises they hold, and they cause my breath to catch in my chest. I reach up and place my hand over his heart, and I can only hope that he can see those same promises in my eyes as well. I already knew that this man holds my heart and I can't help but be more than a little happy to learn that he feels the same for me.

"And I'll hold you to that Mr. McCarty," I say smiling. I finally break our gaze and turn and grab two of the warm pumpkin pies that were cooling on the counter and head back to the dining room, possibly swaying my hips just a little more than normal, and giggle quietly to myself when I hear Emmett groan out the words _'Sweet baby Jesus'_ from behind me.


	7. Lullaby

**My prereaders and my superbeta, kjwrit, assured me that this chapter was in desperate need of a tissue warning… so here it is.**

**-The _National Hormone Institute_ has issued a _*Severe Tissue Warning*_ for this chapter. Please seek the nearest box of tissues, a pint of your favorite Ben & Jerry's and a super large spoon before reading this chapter.**

**-o0o-**

**Chapter 6 (Lullaby- One Republic):**

"Seth, remember that you're riding home with JR today and that you need to be ready to go straight to the hospital when I pick you up. Grampa was disappointed we didn't get to spend very much time with him last night," I yell up the stairs to my scatterbrain of a son.

"I already told you Mom, that wasn't my fault!" he yells back irritably.

"Seth Michael Swan, what did I tell you about using that tone with me? Besides, I don't think it was Mr. Whitlock who waited until 4:30 on a Sunday afternoon to tell his mother that he had a map project due the next morning, was it?"

"I'm sorry mom, jeez, I already said that I forgot. But at least I got it done, right?" he calls sullenly over the railing as he makes his way down to the kitchen for breakfast.

"You know, I really hate this attitude you've got lately," I say as I watch him slam a cereal bowl down on the counter, knowing his anger is over Dad having to stay in the hospital because it could be seen in everything he's done for the last three days.

Three days, is that all it's been? Three days since Dad collapsed and needed to be rushed to Forks General; three days since they told us that his liver and kidneys were working at less than a 10 percent capacity and even that low percentage wasn't going to last more than a week at most. Only three days since we had been told that there was no way Charlie would be home with us for Christmas- which was less than a week away now- and three days since I had to first face the possibility that he wouldn't ever be coming home again. It's only been three days since they told me that my father was most likely going to die this week, and three days since I came to the realization that they were probably right. And for the past three nights, after making sure that Seth was sound asleep, I've cried, grieving over my father's life being cut short so unfairly and in such a horrible way.

Ever since Thanksgiving we've watched my father's already tenuous hold on life slipping farther away. First came the feeding tubes when he could no longer keep anything down, then the IV fluids that meant that he had to stay in bed most of the time. His skin had begun to take on a greyish hue and was literally hanging off of his bones now, the cancer seemingly eating him alive from the inside out. Then we had to resort to using catheters and bed pans, his lack of mobility gave him bed sores and all while we were forced to watch his skin slowly turn a subtle shade of yellowish grey that indicated his major organs were slowly losing function. The doctors offered to treat him with dialysis to help flush the uric acid from his system, but Dad said no to any more needles.

I had taken a few weeks off work, an easy thing to do when everybody in town knew about Charlie being so close to the end, and was spending every minute with him that I could. Earlier Friday morning we had watched some ball game that he had DVR'd and he was resting when I left to pick Seth up from school that afternoon, but when we got home I heard his feeble screams of pain before we even made it all the way in the house.

Seth got to the room before I did and for a few seconds I thought my son was going to lose it. His panic was written all over his face though he couldn't move from the doorway. I pushed past him and fell to my knees beside my father. I was scared to lift him, with just a glance I could tell that one of his legs was bent at a very wrong angle, and I wasn't sure what other damage his fall from the bed may have caused internally, so I yelled for Seth to call 911 and have them send an ambulance and then to call Jake and have him meet us at the hospital.

I know that it took less than ten minutes for the ambulance to arrive, but as I held my father's frail hand it seemed to take forever. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew he would not be coming home again and that alone made me tell him that he was going to be alright, but the look of pity he gave me broke my heart and it took everything in me not to break down then and there.

When we got to the hospital they set his broken femur, ran a shit load of tests and gave Dad enough pain medication to knock a raging rhino out for days. Then Dr. Wallace pulled me to the side and told me that we needed to spend as much time as we could saying our goodbyes this week. Hearing him confirm what I knew to be true but didn't want to accept, I wanted to hate this man; I wanted to have someone to blame for all of this, but also I knew that it wouldn't do me any good. The truth was finally shaking our hands and death was walking up the driveway.

Today is Seth's last day at school before the winter holiday starts, and though he begged me to let him stay with Charlie and I at the hospital, I know that he needs a dose of normality to help him through this week. I also need a chance to talk with Charlie, in essence, to say my own private goodbyes to the man who raised me and loved me like no one else ever will. It is with a heavy heart that I pull into the school drop off lane and wish my son a good day, not knowing if today will be the day that he doesn't get the chance to say his own goodbyes. He tries one more time to get me to let him come with me before angrily slamming the car door upon my refusal and stomping into the building, but I let him go anyway and sigh as I gently press the accelerator down and make my way to the hospital.

I step into Charlie's room and have to do a double take because the man I see in front of me can't be my father. He didn't have this many tubes and machines around him last night and his eyes are sunken and dull. His lips are severely chapped - to the point of cracking- and his skin looks like aged tissue paper, both of his arms resting on the bed and each of them containing an IV site. There are more IV bags hanging on the poles this morning as well, the timed clicks of the dispensing machines counting off the drips like demented and schizophrenic metronomes, and adding to the cacophony is the erratic beeping of the heart monitor and the low bleating of the pulse/oxygen monitor. Then add in the gentle whirring of the oxygen mask and the noise is deafening and no amount of the sterile hospital smell, most often associated with any ward in any hospital in the world, is enough to cover the stench of Charlie's impending death that is literally hanging in his room.

Charlie's eyes track my movement as I walk to his bedside and as I lift his hand, I am struck by the frailty I never expected to feel in my father. He has always been the one to hold me up, to carry me when I needed him to, and yet, here in this room, he is the one who needs my strength. I feel the tears spill over my cheeks and drip off my chin as I hold his hand for a minute longer and the fear and resignation in his eyes only causing them to spill faster. I slowly lower myself to my knees on the floor beside him and I lay my forehead on our still entwined hands and sob, hearing my father do the same, and lift my mouth to kiss his hand.

"Daddy, I don't know what to do for you. I don't want you to go. I don't want to have to raise Seth by myself. We need you Daddy," I sob.

"Baby girl, look at me. I know how strong you are and I know that you will be alright. I can promise you that I won't leave you alone either, I'll always be watching over you; only my body will be gone. I wish this wasn't true. God, I wish I had never gotten sick, but there's nothing we can do to change that," his voice breaks on the last word, forcing him to stop speaking for a minute. "But Baby Girl, you _are_ strong, and I have always been sure that you and Seth would be fine, with or without my help. He's a good kid Bella, you've seen to that. Edward was an ass for giving the two of you up, and one day he'll know exactly what he lost. When your mom left and took you with her that was the hardest day of my life. I fought tooth and nail to get you back, and every ounce of strength it took was worth it in the end. I wouldn't change a minute of the time that I've spent loving you and that boy of yours."

"Oh Daddy, I love you, so much." The tears are coming faster now, his words spurring them on. My heart is clenching in my chest as he weakly reaches out to attempt to pull me to his side, so I gently lift a few of the wires and tubes laying on the bed and climb up beside him, snuggling into his side as tightly as I dare. Lying like this reminds me of the nights when, as a young child, I would crawl into his bed after watching something scary, his arms tightening around me and protecting me from all of my nightmarish dream monsters and I realize in this moment that it will never happen again, me seeking the comfort and safety his arms have always provided and my chest tightens once more.

"I have always been proud to be your father Bella, but never more so than when I watch you with Seth. You are an amazing mother and he is one amazing kid. I know that you two will be fine after I'm gone, though I have a feeling that you won't be alone too long," he whispers into my hair.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask him quietly, raising my head to look up at his face.

"I've seen the way Emmett watches you two, like you're his whole world. That man is in love with you and I want you to know that I like him." Getting that word approval from my father gives me the strength to voice something I have been scared to admit even to myself before today.

"I think he's _The One_ Dad, I really do, and I think I might even be in love with him already. The couple of dates we've been on since Thanksgiving have been wonderful, and the way he treats Seth, I just… " I say, not quite sure how to end that sentence without becoming an emotional mess again.

"For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure he is too Baby Girl. I believe that he will be what you need when you're ready, just don't make the man wait too long. You'll need someone to help you through everything after I'm gone, and Seth'll need a man to show him that it's alright to cry sometimes and not bottle everything up like you tend to do." I can't help but giggle just a bit as Charlie says this to me, knowing that it's nothing but the truth. I do tend to bottle everything up, just like Charlie, and Seth has definitely inherited that trait from the two of us.

We lay like this for several hours, nothing more than a daddy and his baby girl, both of us taking comfort in the other's presence while we can. Nurses and doctors come and go throughout the day, but no one says anything about it. Just as I am thinking about getting up to go pick up Seth Charlie's arms tighten and I look up into his face to see nothing but a strain that wasn't there moments before. Before I can worry about the look on his face the heart monitor starts trilling out an alarm. I can see the blip on the screen that represents his heartbeat jumping all over the place and I can hear a nurse in the hallway page Charlie's doctor before she hurries to his room. I roll to my feet and stand beside his bed, still holding his hand and squeezing it as softly as I can in this situation, the tears streaming down my face. I'm not ready to say goodbye for real just yet.

"Get Seth," my dad whispers through teeth clenched in pain, "I need to tell him I love him."

I can only nod in agreement, the lump in my chest preventing me from speaking, before I'm eased to the side by a nurse who immediately takes my place. There is only so much they can do for Charlie with a DNR in place, and I watch as she injects his IV line with an extra dose of pain medication. She holds his wrist for a minute, counting his heartbeats while watching the monitor and I can see the second it hits his system because the line on the monitor stops jumping and his face loses most of the pained expression it held only seconds ago. His eyes though, they still plead with me to hurry and bring my son to him.

I blindly dial Rose's number, and somehow beg her to bring Seth to the hospital right away, though I don't remember any of the words I spoke. It seems like days pass before I see Jake walking my son towards me; though in reality it's been less than twenty minutes since I made the call. Jake silently ushers Seth to my side where I reach down and hug him for all I'm worth, only releasing him when he grunts out something about not being able to breathe. I turn him towards my father's room and tell him that his Grampa wants to talk to him and watch him walk in with a heavy heart, knowing that they need a few minutes alone to say their goodbyes, but still wanting to shelter my son from the impending pain of loss at the same time. Jake doesn't say a word and merely grabs my shoulders, folding his arms around me, and sways us back and forth as I start to cry once more.

"Jake, can Seth stay with you tonight? I want to stay here with Dad, I don't think he's gonna make it through the night and I really don't want Seth to be here when it happens. Hell Jake, I don't wanna be here when it happens, but I really don't want him to be alone either," I rasp into my best friend's chest.

"Don't worry about a thing Belly, we'll take care of him; you take care of your dad. We'll be ready when you call, and we'll do whatever you need us to. You know that Rosie and me have no problems keeping Seth for as long as you need us to," he whispers into my hair and hugs me tighter to his chest before releasing me. I attempt to smile up at him, though I'm sure it looks more like a grimace, and tell him that I appreciate it.

Just as I turn to walk to Charlie's door I notice hurried movement down the hallway and look to see what is happening. I can't help the catch in my breath as I see Emmett practically pushing people out of his way as he walks towards me and much like with Jake had done moments earlier, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me into his embrace. He holds me there for a few minutes, his large hands running soothingly up and down my back and his lips brushing across my hair as he murmurs words of strength and support to me. His mere presence alone calms me enough for me to turn my face up to his and the look in his eyes surprises me. They hold unshed tears of pain and concern, barely contained by his lids, so I slowly lift my hand and timidly run the tip of my thumb under one releasing some of the moisture.

"Oh God Bella, I'm so sorry Baby," he says, his voice hoarse with the strain of holding his emotions back. "Tell me what to do, tell me what you need me to do Baby."

"Just hold me Em, that's all I need right now." I answer him in a whisper, not trusting my voice to hold out right now.

"I can do that," he says and wraps me in his arms once more.

Jake clears his throat beside us, effectively reminding us of his presence and I turn my face to look at him in acknowledgement. "Um, I think I'm gonna go to the cafeteria and grab a snack while I wait for Seth to be ready. I've got my cell, so text me when you need me," he says.

"Thanks Jake, I don't know what I'd do without your help right now. I'll let you know when he's ready," I tell him and try to untangle myself from Emmett's arms. "Let me go check on them now and make sure they're doing alright."

Emmett reaches for my hand, pulling me back to his side and says, "I'm going to head down with Jake, but I'm not leaving you, not tonight. When you text him that Seth is ready to go, I'll be with you so you're not alone with all of this."

"You don't have to Em," I start to say, but he cuts me off mid-sentence.

"I know I don't have to Bella, I want to. I want to be here for you, for your family. I've made it perfectly clear what my intentions are and I intend to help you get through this," he smiles sadly down at me as he says this, but I can see the determination shining in his eyes, "I told you Swan, you and Seth are stuck with me now. Your pain is my pain, and if I can help lessen it in any way, I want to be here to do it."

"Alright Em, thank you," I grip his hand once more as tightly as I can, pulling what strength I can from him before letting him go and turn towards Charlie's room while I ready myself for whatever I will find there.

"I will Grampa, I promise." I hear my son say as I walk into the room, his voice choked with unshed tears. My heart swells with pride as I watch my son and my father, both stubbornly refusing to cry in front of the other, neither one of them proving anything but how deeply they love one another.

"Alright boy, I love you, don't forget," my dad tells him gruffly with the hand holding my son's shaking just enough that I can see it.

"I love you too Grampa. I won't ever forget you," my son chokes out, this time unable to stop the tears from running down his face.

"Now-now, don't cry about this son, I'm not. I told you, this has to happen. I'm in too much pain to hang around here in this body anymore, but I'll never be more than a word away. You can talk to me anytime you need to and I'll always find a way to answer you. This is not goodbye, remember? This is 'I'll talk to you later' or 'I'll see you around'," my father explains patiently to my son in a broken voice, all the while gripping his hand as tightly as he is able.

I quickly text Jake, letting him know that Seth is almost ready to go. I lower myself into the chair beside Charlie's bed and reach for Seth's free hand, gripping it to show him that I'm here for him if he needs me. Several more minutes like this pass by with the three remaining Swans silently holding hands while I watch my son come to terms with the fact that this will be the last memory he'll have of his grandfather. My heart breaks at the thought that my father won't get to see Seth grow into a man; he won't be there for his graduation or get to take him out and share in his first legal drink, and I curse the cancer once more in that moment for taking all of these things from my son and for taking my daddy away from me, though I know that no amount of cursing will help.

A tap at the door alerts me to Jake and Emmett's presence and the three of us look up at them as they enter the room. Charlie nods his head, and releases Seth's hand from his, raising and offering it to Jake's in greeting and while the words are jovial, the atmosphere in the room is nothing but melancholy. Jake steps back and Emmett steps forward to greet Charlie himself, but just as Jake and I start to herd Seth towards the door, Charlie asks if I'll give him a moment to speak privately with Emmett. I can't say that I'm surprised after the conversation he and I had earlier, and while I can guess at what they're going to talk about, it's clear to me that Charlie's request has taken Emmett by surprise.

I nod and Seth leans over the bed to hug his grandfather one last time, both of them holding each other as long as they can, before Seth turns with a heart-wrenching sob and runs out of the room while Jake and I follow him out and close the door behind us.

"I'll call you as soon as anything happens. Thanks again Jake, I couldn't do this without yours and Rose's help. I hope you know how much it means to me that you two are there for us," I say haltingly, hugging him as tightly as I can.

"Always Belly, you should know that by now. That man lying in that bed in there is part of my family too, just like my dad is for you, and I'd do anything for him. You guys too," he explains, giving me one last hug and turning to usher Seth to the elevator. I watch Jake and Seth for a minute, Seth's shoulders sagging under the weight of Charlie's disease and Jake resting his large hand on one of those shoulders in a show of silent support. The elevator doors ding as they open and Seth and Jake step inside, but before the doors close completely Seth looks up and catches me watching. He raises one hand to offer a meek wave before wiping his eyes once more and my breath hitches at the tortured look in his eyes making me wish, not for the first time, that nothing sad will ever again touch his life in the way that this has.

I turn and make my way back down the hall to Charlie's room but I can't find the strength to open the door, not when I know what is awaiting me inside. Nothing but death and despair, nothing I want to face right now, but I have to for my father's sake because I will not let him go alone. I need to be there for him, to fight for his peace and he needs to know that he is loved beyond reason as he leaves this world, while I need nothing more than to hold my daddy's hand one last time.

I'm lost in my own head and look up when I hear the click of the door opening. I didn't even hear the nurse as she walked right up to me and the surprise of seeing her standing next to me with her hand on the doorknob pulls a startled gasp from my lungs. She looks at me with such a pitying gaze before reaching over to softly pat my shoulder. "I wouldn't think it'll be too much longer now, not past morning anyhow. We're all assuming that you'll want to be staying in there with him tonight, is that correct?" she asks and at my nod she continues, "Alrighty then, I'll have maintenance bring up a cot for you, though I don't think you'll be getting much sleep. But, either way, it'll be there for you."

"Thank you…" I look at her badge to read her name, "Angela, to all of you, for making this as pain-free as you have. I don't think there's any words to let you know how much it means to me to know that he's not in too much pain right now. I just know that I couldn't do this alone, so thank you," I tell her, resting my hand on top of hers before releasing it.

"Oh sweetie, it's the least we can do for the Chief. Last year I had a Peeping Tom issue and Chief Swan came out himself and caught the guy the next night. Without him, I'm pretty sure there's no way I'd have ever gotten another decent night's sleep ever again. And I'm not the only one with a 'Chief Swan' story around here. Everyone in this hospital, heck; in this town, knows and cares for the Chief, and you should see the other girls fight over who gets assigned to him at shift change. Every one of us wants to help him in any way we can. Now, let's get in there and check on him, shall we?" I notice that her eyes are a bit damp as she pauses and wipes at the moisture before turning to open the door, but that one little show of emotion is enough to make me feel less alone and I find myself even more grateful.

Emmett is in the chair beside my father and it shakes me just a bit to see him grasping my dad's hand in his. My dad's eyes are closed, but the look of peacefulness on his face is oddly painful to me and I immediately feel guilty that I don't want to see it yet. Angela walks up to his free side and checks his stats, recording them on the handheld device they all seem to be carrying around nowadays, and then checks his IV fluid bags, adjusting something on one of the dispensing pumps, and pushes a button on his heart monitor.

It isn't until she does that that I notice how slowly his pulse is dancing across the screen, and now that I've watched it for days I know there's nothing normal about it anymore. I watch as the number next to the jumping line gradually gets lower and look back to my father's face and see that his eyes are now watching me, but when he smiles at me, I lose the tenuous grip I have on my tears. Emmett stands and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side as I reach down for Dad's hand and as his hand slips into mine Dad turns to her and asks, "Not too much longer, is it Angela? Remember, I have a DNR. I don't wanna fight it; please don't make me."

"No Chief, not too much longer. Don't worry; we won't be in here tonight for anything other than increasing your pain meds if you need us to. Dr. Wallace has given a standing order that you get anything you want now, including peace and quiet," she replies with a soft smile and leans over patting his shoulder gently before looking back up at me.

She nods her head towards the door to indicate that she'd like to speak privately for a moment and I follow her to the hallway right outside the door. "I turned off the alarms on the Pulse/Ox and heart monitors. I can still see them out at the desk but I won't come in if they go off unless you call us. If you need anything you push the call button and I'll be right in. It shouldn't be too painful for him, he'll probably go to sleep and pass away. If he looks like he's in pain, we'll sedate him, but I don't think it'll come to that. After his heart stops Dr. Wallace will come in to pronounce him. The Chief mentioned that he already had his affairs in order, so you might want to give his lawyer a heads up that it'll most likely happen tonight. Other than that sweetie, I'm glad you're not gonna be alone tonight; it's not gonna be easy for you to watch."

"Alright, thank you again, for all of this," I choke out the words while trying to keep myself together for a little while longer. I mean really, how do you thank someone for letting your father die on his own terms? When I step back into the room and walk to Emmett's side I see he's holding my father's hand once again and I wish for a miracle that I know won't be taking place. Emmett pulls me down to sit on his lap, cradling me against his chest, and places my dad's cool hand in my much warmer one while time passes both slowly and much too quickly. I know there's nothing more we can do but watch the hands on the clock rush around to greet each new hour as the numbers on the monitor that record each heartbeat continue to decrease.

Sometime after Midnight I give up watching the clock and watch my father's chest rise and fall instead. I start counting his breaths, but as I notice after a while that they too have decreased in their frequency I stop that as well. Pretty soon he starts gasping quietly, his lungs trying to pull in the oxygen to nourish the blood his heart needs to keep beating and I feel the tears tracing their well-used path down my cheeks as his breathing becomes more and more uneven. Hearing the difference and knowing that he isn't getting what he needs anymore, I look up at the silent heart monitor only to see the line jumping erratically, the numbers jumping as well. One second the number is low and the next his heart is racing at nearly 190 beats per minute only to drop drastically once more, but all I can do is helplessly watch my father's body as it just lays there, barely twitching, and not giving any indication of the internal struggle that I know is taking place.

I feel Emmett's hand squeeze mine and I look up at him, only to follow his gaze back to the monitor and my own heart misses a beat or two as my mind takes a second to register the complete lack of movement on the screen, only a steady flat line, and the number now showing a solid zero. I drop Emmett's hand and bend over my father placing my ear to his still chest, right over where his heartbeat has always been, only to be met with silence. I feel his body shudder once under my cheek as it attempts to pull in one last breath, anything, but nothing happens and it settles heavily down into the mattress. My own breath hitches as I turn my head and press my face into his now lifeless chest, pursing my lips one last time, and place a final kiss on my father's sternum. I whisper my goodbyes, my tears soaking the fabric of his thin gown, and I feel the loss wholeheartedly as Charlie's hand limply falls away from mine.

Emmett pulls me up and across to a quiet corner as several nurses and Dr. Wallace enter the room and make their way over to Charlie's bedside. Words are spoken but I don't hear them; cords are unplugged, IV's are taken out, a faceless nurse even takes a minute to run a damp washcloth over his pale and peaceful features, and one by one they make their way out of the room, taking much of the now unnecessary medical equipment with them, leaving us alone with my father's body, but watching it all happening feels so surreal.

With the room once again empty of the hospital staff, Emmett walks me over to the bed with a supportive hand placed warmly at the small of my back, but then steps away to give me a minute alone. I reach out to touch Dad's body, but pull back at the last second, afraid to face the full reality that he is truly gone. Finally I push myself that last inch, reverently touching his face, and take a seat next to the bed. I stay that way for a while, lost in my head, remembering all the happy times I had with my father, but I am brought back to the present by a quiet tapping at the door. Emmett opens it and let's Harry in, and within seconds of him walking up next to me I'm sobbing in his arms.

"I know angel, I know. I'll miss him too, but we all know he's happier now. No more pain and all the fish he can catch, right?" Harry laughs weakly through his own tears, clenching my shoulders in a tight embrace, and leans down, placing a kiss on the top of my head, and says, "Come on kiddo, they need to take him downstairs and you need to get out of here. Go get that child of yours and hold him tight."

He turns me and places me in Emmett's waiting arms before ushering us out of the room. "Don't worry about any of his stuff, I'm gonna stay and fill out all of the paperwork they need and then I'll clean out his room. I'll bring anything in here to your house tomorrow when we talk. We need to make some calls and get a few things rolling, but I'll be there to help, so will Sue," he tells Emmett and I, though I can't guarantee that I'll remember anything he's said in ten minutes.

My mind is shutting down in its grief and Emmett literally has to carry me to the elevator and down to his car. He opens the door and slides me into the seat, asking me something, but I can't understand his words, so I watch numbly as he buckles me in and walks around to the driver's seat where he starts the car and pulls out his phone. The next thing I know, he's carrying me into my house and walks us up the stairs to my bedroom. I can feel him manipulating my limbs as he works my clothes off, and then back on, and I vaguely register the fact that he has changed me into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, my normal bedtime attire. Though I try to thank him, to say anything really, my mouth just won't work.

He carries me to my bed and sets me against the headboard while he pulls the covers down and then he gently maneuvers my body down the bed until I am laying in a mostly comfortable position while he pulls the covers back up around me. The lights flip off and I assume that he is leaving me for the night until I feel the bed dip on the other side before he pulls me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me, and enveloping me in his strength. I can feel his lips moving over my temple, whatever words he's speaking to me doing nothing more for me than pushing his breath across my hairline, but I can feel myself melting into him.

I may not hear his words right now, but their message is clear; he's not going anywhere and it makes me happy for a second, knowing that he's right where I need him to be, but then the crushing pain of the reality of my father's death rolls over me once more and I'm lost again. The storm of emotions coursing through my body pulls me under and my eyes close as I lose myself once more in my grief, all the while knowing that Emmett is holding me and I trust that he will somehow find a way to bring me back.

**-o0o-**

**So, there it is. Charlie's gone, but Emmett is there for her. The next chapter is kinda angsty too, but not as bad as this one is.**


	8. I Won't Let You Go

**The _NHI_ has issued another *Tissue Warning* for this chapter, though not nearly as severe as the one the last chapter needed.**

**-o0o-**

**Chapter 7 (I Won't Let You Go- James Morrison): **

It's Christmas Eve morning and Seth and I are getting ready to begin our day. No, we're not getting ready to celebrate a happy and joyous holiday like we have in the past; today we will be celebrating Charlie's life and mourning his death.

I grab my black pearl earrings, the ones Grandma Swan gave me in her will, and put them on while looking at my reflection in the mirror one last time. Smoothing out the front of my modest black dress, I sigh before turning my back on the sad woman in the mirror and walk out of my bedroom. I stop in the hallway and tap lightly on Seth's door, and as I wait for him to respond, I hear nothing but my son's attempts to silence his sobs.

"Come in," he says brokenly once he pulls himself together enough to speak.

I open the door and step through, my own heart breaking yet again as I take in the sight of the distraught little boy sitting on his bed. "Oh my sweet boy, it's alright, I'm here," I say as I sweep him into my arms and rock him gently on my lap, much like I used to when he was younger and in pain. "Sweetheart, I miss him too. But Seth, Grampa wouldn't want you to be so sad. Remember what he said to you? He said that this wasn't goodbye, it was see you later. It's okay to be sad and to cry, but you need to remember all of the fun and good things about Grampa's life too."

"I know mom, but it's so hard. I miss him so much," he whimpers.

"I know sweetie, I know."

We sit like that for a few more minutes until we are disturbed by a knock at the front door.

"That'll be Emmett most likely, picking us up for the service. Are you ready?" I ask him, holding my hand out for him to hold on to. I think I actually need the connection more than him right now.

Together we walk down the stairs and to the front door, opening it to a solemn-faced Emmett and a waiting black town car. Harry Clearwater wanted to send a limo for Seth and I to arrive at the memorial service in, but I told him that Charlie had never been a limo kind of person and neither were we. Emmett piped up and offered to rent a car and drive us, and because I wanted to be as close to him and the support I knew only he would give me, I accepted.

"Ms. Swan, Seth, your car awaits… I'm Jeeves and I'll be your driver today," Em says with a small smirk and a wink and a _really bad_ British accent, but his attempt at humor makes me smile for the first time today. It makes Seth giggle a bit too, and for that reason alone my smile gets even bigger.

"Thank you Jeeves, please, lead the way," I say as I place my hand on his offered forearm.

The three of us walk down the porch steps to the car where Emmett opens the back door for Seth, then opens the front door for me. He holds my purse and my hand as he helps me in and waits for me to get seated before he leans down to place a tender kiss to the back of my hand. "Have I told you that you're simply beautiful today?" he asks me before standing back up and gently closing my door.

I watch as he crosses in front of the car and climbs into the driver's seat. He looks over at me after buckling his seat belt and catches me watching him and he smiles softly at me before starting the car up. He reverses out of my driveway and after we get on the road he reaches over to hold my hand. I'm not sure if he knows exactly what this gesture means for me or not, but the comfort and love I feel for him intensifies in this quiet moment.

"Hey Em," Seth says from the back seat and gets Emmett's attention, "Mom said that there won't be a casket, just a little jar full of ashes at this thing. She said that it's what Grampa wanted, but I don't get it, why would he want to be burned to ashes instead of being buried like normal people?"

Emmett turns and looks at me, a million questions and more than a bit of apprehension swirling in his eyes, so I nod and give him my permission to try to answer Seth's question, wanting to see how he's going to deal with this sensitive subject matter myself since I'm not completely sure how to answer him either.

"Well, I don't really know Seth. I guess the easiest thing to say is that it's a personal decision everybody will need to make at some point in their lifetime. I would guess that Charlie wanted to be in a spot where he spent a lot of good times while he was alive and it just so happens to be a spot where we can't bury him in the ground, so I think it makes sense that he wanted to be cremated and have his ashes sprinkled over the lake. He really enjoyed fishing; just think of all the times he went to Tacoma to visit you and all of the times he took you out fishing. It was Charlie's favorite thing to do to relax and unwind, right?"

"Yeah, Grampa loved fishing a whole lot," Seth answered him enthusiastically.

"Well, don't you think that it's a better place for him to be then? Out on the water instead of stuck in some hole in the ground?" he asks my son.

"I suppose, but what about when I want to visit him? I can't do that if he doesn't have a grave. JR said that his gramma is buried and they go visit her grave every year and he can talk to her there whenever he wants to."

"Well, I have a theory about that too Big Guy. You've learned about the water cycle in school, right?" he glances in the rearview mirror at Seth, waiting to see if he has. Apparently Seth gives him some kind of affirmation because he starts explaining again, "So you know that water falls in the form of rain or snow and is either absorbed by the ground or held in lakes, rivers and oceans, right? And that when the sun shines down on them, those rivers, lakes and oceans send evaporated water back into the air where it turns into clouds, right?"

Again Seth nods and Emmett continues, "Okay, so then the clouds, once they cool down enough, form rain or snow and drop it back down to the ground. Well, I was kinda thinking that might mean that every time it rains here in Forks, it'll be like Charlie is saying hi or that he loves you. And we all know how much it rains here, so I think that'll mean that Charlie will never leave you. You can talk to him at the lake or in the rain anytime you want to and I know that he'll always listen to you."

My eyes mist up again at his explanation and how simple he made it sound, like Charlie will always be there for us this way. I look back at Seth and see that he's rolling the information around in his mind, waiting to see if he can accept it or not.

"So that means that every time it rains it'll be like Grampa's giving me a hug?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah, something like that," Emmett answers and I tighten the grip I have on his hand when I see my son smile.

"Well then I hope it rains today because I really need him to hug me again," he says matter-of-factly; Emmett's theory noted, digested and accepted.

Emmett pulls up in front of the church where Charlie's memorial service is being held and hurries to open mine and Seth's doors for us. Once we are out of the car, he reaches out with both hands and grasps one of mine as well as one of Seth's. While I know that Seth would normally not want to hold anyone's hand now that he's older, he doesn't make a move the pull away from Emmett. It strikes me as we make our way into the church, that we look like a normal grieving family, the three of us together like this, and I find that I rather like the idea of Em being a part of that.

The service goes by quickly and I realize that the nurse, Angela, was right in saying that most everyone in town has their own 'Chief Charlie' story to tell. I find myself laughing at so many of the things people remember about my father, reminding me once more that though his life may have been cut short, it was still a full and happy life. Sitting between Emmett and Seth and being surrounded by people I have come to think of as both friends and family, I know that this is where I want to be; that sometime in the last four months Forks has become my home again.

Em and I are just walking through my front door, Seth having already raced upstairs to his room to get out of his suit, when the wall phone starts ringing. Though I don't recognize the number I know it's local and I assume that it's another friend of Charlie's calling to offer condolences. "Hello, Swan residence, this is Bella," I answer the phone, speaking without thought the greeting Charlie had always insisted I use when I was growing up. He used to say that answering the phone like that was a way of showing that we were civilized people living in a house full of manners.

"Hello Bella," the caller's voice comes through and is instantly recognizable, nearly dripping with venom as she continues without pausing for me to return her greeting, "It would seem like we have some important matters to discuss now that your father is gone."

"I really don't think we have anything to discuss Esme, regardless of my father's passing," I answer coldly and as soon as I say her name I see Emmett's head snap towards me.

"Well I think we do, namely your continued residence in Forks. I think it's time you took that brat of yours back to whatever rock you crawled out from under and leave the fine upstanding citizens of this town in peace." I swear the woman bathes in ice cubes, it's the only reason I can think of that she's so frigid.

"Actually I rather like it here in Forks, though there are a few of the…," I pause mid-sentence, pretending to think out loud, "what did you call yourselves- _fine upstanding citizens?_, that I could do without. So Esme, I'm so sorry to burst your bubble but we're staying, no matter what you think I should do."

Just as I turn to slam the receiver back onto the cradle Emmett grabs the phone from my hand, surprising me with the furious look on his face.

"Aunt Esme, so nice to know that you care enough to call Bella to let her know how sorry you are to hear about Charlie," he says sweetly, his tone completely belying his still angry countenance. "Oh, that's _not_ why you were calling? Well then, it must have been to see if there was anything that the Cullen family could do to help her and her son through this difficult time, right?"

I watch his face as there is a pause in his side of the conversation and can see his jaw clenching, the muscles tightening and loosening repeatedly, while the knuckles of the hand holding the phone are literally losing color. His normally cornflower blue eyes darken as his anger increases and hold mine as he speaks his next sentence.

"If I have my way, they won't ever be leaving this town." Pause, listen, clench, unclench. "Well you can tell that asshole that if he's so uncomfortable being in the same town that I'm sure there are hundreds of hospitals all over the world that are just dying to add yet another egotistical asshat to their staff and that maybe he should think about taking his tramp of a wife with him when he goes."

Yet another tension filled pause hangs in the air before he says anything, but I can see him revving up for another round. "You go ahead and do that, but before you do, I can tell you what she'll say. She'll tell you that she doesn't care what kind of shit you're selling, she won't be buying a bit of it, and then she'll tell you that she'll support any decision I make." Pause, more clenching, more anger. "Oh yeah, you can count on that. She's my world now and he is too, and I'll go to war if it means protecting them from the likes of you, family or not. Don't push me, Aunt Esme, I can promise that you won't like it when I push back. Remember that I know _exactly_ where some of your oldest skeletons are buried." Pause, deep breath, chilling smile. "Nope, it's a promise," and with that same chilling smile still in place, he turns and gently but firmly hangs up the phone.

"Well that was just a bit intense, huh Em?" I ask lightly, hoping to relieve some of the lingering tension still holding his body rigid. I watch him take a deep breath before turning to look at me again. The anger is gone from his face, though his eyes still hold a bit in their still darkened state, but there is also a look of such intensity, such emotional upheaval in them that it momentarily takes my breath away. He makes the two steps it takes for him to reach me, pulling me into his arms, and once he does I am instantly surrounded by such a feeling of security it nearly brings tears to my eyes.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep, but I know her and how she 'deals' with things. I couldn't let her make you leave or even let her hurt you by saying anything mean without doing something about it," he says, his words spoken softly into my ear and the warm moisture of his breath both send bolts of longing throughout my body.

I wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself closer to his chest, placing light kisses across his shirt-covered collarbone. "Oh Em, you haven't overstepped anything here. I'm glad you talked to her because someone needed to and I couldn't do it today. But what did she say to make you so angry?"

"She told me that now that Charlie is gone she didn't see any reason for you to stay and that Fuckward and his bitch of a wife were uncomfortable with you living in the same town as them. Then, when she didn't like my response, she actually threatened to call my mom and tattle on me. Now don't get me wrong, I think mom'll think it's hilarious if she really does call her about this, but I don't think she will. She hasn't talked to mom in almost 25 years and I'm sure she knows that mom'll tell her to shut the fuck up and to mind her own damn business," he says laughingly. "But then she said that it sounded like I might be wrapped around your finger and that she could tell that I was going to be 'unreasonable' when it comes to you and," he uses finger quotations here to emphasize her wording, "_'that boy_'. That's when I told her that she could count on it."

"You also told her that we were your world now. Is that true Em; are we part of your world?" I ask while looking up into his eyes.

His whole face softens as he looks down at me. "No Bella, you and Seth aren't just a part of my world; you're my whole world. You and Seth, you're what I want, all that I want in fact. Well, maybe another kid or two sometime later, but yes, you two are already my life."

"God Em, I'm kinda speechless here. I want you to be a major part of our lives too; it's just… are you sure? I mean, taking on a woman with a kid is a pretty big job, but when you factor in whose kid it is it becomes monumental. Are you really sure about this, us?" I ask him, hoping beyond hope that he's sincere in this and believing that he most likely is. His next words send my heart soaring.

"I've never been more sure of anything before Bella. I want you and Seth; I need you to be with me every day and every night. I love you guys so much my heart hurts when I'm not with you guys. Jesus Bella, I love you so, so much. I love you."

I can see the tears waiting to fall from his eyes as I untangle my arms from around his waist and reach up to hold his face, pulling his mouth to mine. The repressed passion ignites between us and the kiss becomes more powerful than I think either of us ever thought possible. The silky firmness of his lips moving against mine is unbelievable, but when his tongue traces my bottom lip and gently pushes, asking permission to enter, the taste of pure Emmett nearly knocks me off my feet. Thankfully his arms are still around me and he catches me, holding my boneless body as close to his as possible without actually pulling me into his skin.

Our tongues find a pulsing rhythm, one that closely mimics the tiny pulsations rippling throughout my heated core and the gentle uplifts of his hips into mine. His hands travel the length of my back, up over my shoulders and up the sides of my neck before he uses them to tilt my head to give him a better angle to take control of the kiss. His lips push and persuade mine to do their bidding while his tongue takes possession of my mouth and my mind. My hands are now tracing the hard lines of his chest and down his abdomen, pulling at the fabric of his shirt at his waistline, eager to feel the heat of his naked skin.

We are brought back to reality in an instant by my son's disgusted voice, causing us to jump apart like two teenagers caught necking by their parents. "Oh gross, you guys. Do you have to do that where I can see it? Oh my God, I think I'm gonna puke," he shouts dramatically as he makes fake gagging noises and runs from the room.

"Well at least we know that, aside from seeing us kiss, he doesn't seem to have an issue with us doing it," Emmett chuckles, running a hand across the back of his neck in embarrassment. "But I gotta say I love the color of the blush on your face right now, it's downright sexy. In fact," he says huskily right next to my ear, pulling me back into his arms, "I think it's fucking hot."

Again his lips meet mine, again the passion sparks between our bodies, and yes, once again Seth catches us kissing. "Mo-om," he cries out, almost like he's in physical pain, "Yuck! That's just… Ugh! Get a room already."

"Hey Big Guy, I think it's time we had a little talk," Emmett says as he ruffles Seth's hair. "Give your mom and me a few minutes to talk first and then I'll meet you out back, okay."

"Yeah sure, whatever; just don't make me watch you guys kissing anymore. I swear it's gonna make me hurl," he answers on his way out the back door, but not before I catch a hint of a smirk on his face that lets me know that he's not totally opposed to the idea of Emmett and I together.

"Are you okay with this? With me telling him that we're going to be in a relationship?" Emmett asks me, the expression on his face letting me know that if I express even the slightest bit of apprehension he'll back off.

"I'm fine Em, but maybe _we_ should talk about it first. You know, like setting guidelines, boundaries… expectations, those kinds of things. I mean, are we in a relationship now? Are you my boyfriend, am I your girlfriend? What do you _want_ to tell him?" I pose the questions to him, not just to see what he plans on telling my nine year old son, but genuinely wanting to know the answers myself.

"I would like to think that we've been in a relationship for a while now, but if you want to put a label on it then yes, it's a full-out, no-holds-barred, all-capital-letters RELATIONSHIP. As for whether or not you're my girlfriend, you're so much more to me than that. I know you're not ready to be my fiancée yet, but you are my future wife, so you can call yourself whatever you want to, but I plan on calling you MINE. And I want to tell him that I love his mother and that I plan on being his stepfather one day, hopefully sooner rather than later. That I love the two of you with all of my heart and that he'd better get used to seeing us kiss because I _will_ be doing it a lot more now."

"Wow," I whisper, my breath hitching in my chest at the intensity of his declaration. I realize, almost belatedly, that this is the second time he has told me that he loves me, and that aside from kissing him earlier, I haven't verbally returned the sentiment yet. "Oh Emmett, I love you too. I really hope that you understand that. These last few months would have been impossible without you by my side. You've shown me that you care for me every step of the way, not only by helping and supporting me emotionally with Charlie, but by being here for Seth too. You know that he really does like you and looks up to you, right? I don't think he'll have a problem with this at all, in fact, I'm pretty sure he loves you too."

"You… you love me?" he stutters with excitement, tears filling his eyes and watering down his voice.

"So much Emmett, so very much," I answer, reaching up and bring my lips to his once more. We kiss for a few minutes before breaking apart slowly.

"Hot damn woman, kissing you could easily become a full time obsession," he tells me, all traces of anything but laughter gone from his joking tone. "But we gotta stop for now; I got me a kid to talk to." He turns away, heading towards the back door and my son but stops before he reaches the door and turns back to look at me over his shoulder. "Do you want to join this conversation Bella? I don't want to say anything that might freak him, or you, out."

"Go on Em, I trust you," I tell him, the honestly of that statement ringing out in the strength of my voice, "Besides, if you're gonna be his stepdad soon, don't you think you should get used to dealing with these kind of talks, you know, sooner rather than later?" I toss out with a wink and a smile at the man.

"Stepdad… sweet angels above, I like the sound of that," I hear just before the door closes behind him.

**-o0o-**

**See, this one wasn't so bad, right? Anyways, they're officially together now and you can bet Emmett's pretty darn happy about that.**


	9. The Reason

**Chapter 8 (The Reason- Hoobastank):**

It's been several weeks since we said goodbye to Dad, but it seems like a lifetime ago. The days since have seemed to last forever, every minute bringing with it a new memory of my father – or worse, a new memory he wasn't there to share with us – and inevitably more tears. Seth has been a trooper, every time he sees me crying he wraps his arms around me and holds me until they stop. Between him and Emmett, I think I've spent more time being held than not, but the tears are slowing and the healing is starting.

Because of the timing of Charlie's death we never felt like celebrating either Christmas or the New Year, so tonight we are doing both. Rose and Jake are having a belated holiday party and all of our friends will be there, and together we will finally open the presents Dad left us. I don't think I can do it at our house and I'm grateful, thanks to our friends who are more like our extended family, I don't have to. Seth is really excited to see what his Grampa got him and I have to admit that I'm a bit curious myself. During his last few weeks Dad spent quite a while searching online for the perfect gifts for everyone and there's even one for Em.

Emmett. Wow, what can I say? He's been our rock throughout this. Without him, I don't know where either of us would be right now. He's strong and soft all at the same time, caring for the two of us and loving me in a way I had only ever dreamed possible before. He makes me believe that anything is possible and I know that he loves my son nearly as much as I do and it's amazing.

Emmett, Seth and I pull up to Jake's house right on time and Seth jumps out even before Em can shut the car off. He and JR meet up in the front yard and take off together around the side of the house, laughing in the way that only best friends can and my eyes mist up imagining if that Dad were there he might be remembering me and Jake at their age doing the exact same thing. I open my door and get out, only to have Em reach out and pull me into a tight embrace, almost as though he knows what I'm thinking without having to ask. With his lips pressed lightly to my temple he tells me that he loves me and it's enough to bring me out of my threatening funk before we walk hand in hand up to the front door, where we are met by a smiling Jake and Jilly hanging on his back like a monkey.

"Ok Jillybean, Daddy needs to breathe. It's time to get down now. Go find Mommy and tell her that Uncle Em and Bella are here for me please," Jake says laughingly as he pries his death-gripping daughter off his back.

"Geez man, I don't know if I should call you Jake or Jungle Gym from now on with the way she was climbing you and all," Emmett laughs as he grabs Jake and pulls him in for a man hug.

"Hey bro, hey Belly," Jake greets us before holding out his fist to Seth, who has just reappeared with his friend, for a bump. "Hey my man, what's up?"

"Not much Uncle Jake, just really excited to finally open my presents," he says hurriedly as he rushes past Jake to race upstairs with JR.

"Alright, come on in, everybody's in the living room or the kitchen. I think Rosie's in the kitchen if you want to head on back there Belly," he says while turning to hang our coats in the hall closet.

I head back towards the kitchen, listening to Jake and Em's laughter as they turn into the living room and as I near the kitchen, I am bombarded with a litany of wondrous holiday smells. My mouth starts watering as I recognize pumpkin and pecan pie, two of my favorites, along with the unmistakable smell of freshly baked Christmas cookies. _Yum._

"Oh my God Rose, it smells absolutely delicious in…" my words trail off as I round the corner and come face to face with none other than Alice Cullen.

"Bella," she starts hesitantly, not at all looking like one of the evil vampire wannabes I've come to picture the rest of her family as. "Please listen before you get mad that I'm here. If, after I say what I need to say, you still want me to leave I will. No questions asked. This is your party, and even though Jasper was invited, I sorta crashed it."

I sigh warily, hoping that I'm not making a mistake by agreeing to hear her out, but before I can utter even a single word, Seth and JR come running into the kitchen.

"Mom, can Seth and I take some cookies upstairs. I know that normally I'm not allowed to eat in my room, but I promise not to make a mess. Please…" he pleads, both him and Seth standing in front of Rose with their hands folded against their chests and innocent, wide-eyed, pouty-lipped looks plastered to their faces. Oliver Twist has nothing on these two and while I find it slightly amusing to notice that my son is not the only child to employ such heart-rending stealth-begging tactics, the majority of my attention is riveted to the play of emotions running across Alice's face. I realize in that moment that this is the very first time that she has seen my son… It's the very first time that she has been this close to her nephew and the look of mixed pain and pure love in her eyes nearly breaks my heart. Nearly.

She looks at him with such longing, and I suddenly can't deny Alice an opportunity to meet him. Breaking into their begging session, I address my son, "Hey Seth, could you come over here for a minute? There's someone I'd like you to meet." Alice's head snaps up at my words, a hopeful expression on her face. I can only hope that she understands the look of 'don't make me regret this' I am giving her, and by the barest nod of her head I'm pretty sure she does. "Seth, this is Alice. She was one of my best friends in high school. Alice, this is my son, Seth Swan, fourth grader extraordinaire."

"Hello Seth, how are you?" Alice asks, holding her hand out to shake his, and I can see the slight tremors I am sure she's trying to hide.

"I'm fine Miss Alice, how are you?" my son responds politely, barely pumping her hand before dropping it.

"I'm wonderful now, thank you for asking." The shakiness of her hand now hidden as she wraps both of her arms around her middle, though doing so does nothing to hide the hitch in her voice or the moisture gathering in her misty eyes –eyes that I notice never leave my son's face.

Seth turns to face me, the obvious 'what is that about?' written in his expression for a split second, before he asks impatiently, "Can I go _now_ mom?"

I can't help laughing as he and JR race out of the kitchen, a plate of their hard-won spoils clutched in JR's hands and I watch them until they turn the corner and vanish from my view before turning back to deal with Alice.

"Oh my God…" she whispers shakily, the tears flowing freely now. "He looks just like Edward when he was younger. Ed's been denying this, you know, but even though I was sure that you wouldn't lie about it, I don't think I really truly believed it until just now. He's really my nephew, isn't he Bella?" she asks hopefully.

"Yeah, he is, but don't think for one moment that I'm just gonna let your family step in in any way shape or form and try to run his life. He is a Swan, _my_ son, and he will _never_ be a Cullen. Your brother made sure of that," I say venomously, just the thought of dealing with Edward's family bringing out my 'Mama Bear' instinct, urging me to protect my son from their evil.

"Good, they don't deserve him." Her proclamation surprises me, but not as much as the next words out of her mouth do. "I know that you will find this hard to believe, but I have missed you. You have always been my friend and that's why I never wanted you to date Edward, not because I thought you weren't good enough, but because he wasn't good enough for you. I knew that he was using you for the summer, but every time I tried to say something he would stop me, and you guys were always together. Then suddenly you weren't, and you never returned any of my calls, and I just knew that you hated me too."

"Why are you here tonight Alice, why now?" I ask.

"Because I couldn't stay away any longer and I knew that you would be here. Jasper talks about how great you guys are all the time, but he won't give me any specifics. He says that it's up to you whether or not you want me to know Seth, and Bella; I desperately want to know him. I'll do whatever you say, pretend that he's not my nephew, whatever you want, but please give me a chance to prove that I'm not one of them." She takes a deep breath before continuing, "They hate Jasper but I'm marrying him anyways, because I love him. They've told me that the minute I say 'I do' I'm not a Cullen anymore. That I'll lose everything connected to the Cullen name. But it'll be worth it; I'll have Jasper and I'll be a Whitlock instead and that's so much better in my opinion."

It's a lot to take in, a lot to think about. Do I want her to be part of our lives? Do I trust her, believe her? I'm not sure. "I don't know Alice. All I know is that he is my world, my everything, and he has been for the past ten years. I don't want him to ever feel any pain, and though I know that I can't protect him from everything, I _can_ protect him from your family."

"I know, and I don't know what I can say to convince you that I'm not one of them, but please give me the chance to prove it to you," she begs, her tears streaming down her face and soaking the front of her silk shirt. She does nothing to stop them, nothing to keep them from probably ruining what I'm sure is a very expensive designer label, and that in itself goes a long way to convincing me that she might be different from the rest of her family. I mean, just look at Emmett. He's related to them – his mom and Esme are sisters, but the difference between the two was night and day. Where Esme could freeze water with nothing more than one of her icy glares, Em's mom is warm and caring, loving and compassionate. Maybe Alice isn't as evil as the rest of her family, but giving her a chance will be the only way to prove things one way or another.

I huff out a loud breath, hating my giving and nurturing nature more than anything in that moment. "Fine, I'll give you a chance. But, and I can't stress this enough, there WILL be ground rules, and if you break even one, you'll lose any future chance at having any kind of relationship with him. Understand?"

"Yes, thank you. I understand. I'll agree to anything you want, I promise." The words rush out of her mouth so fast it's difficult to completely decipher them.

"You might not be so happy when you hear what I have to say." I know that my words will hurt her, there's no way around it, but it actually makes me feel bad when I watch her shoulders slump under the weight of the pain she feels coming. "Right now Alice, we are not friends and you are not his aunt and I don't know if you ever will be. I can't promise you anything. I will allow you to be in his life, but how much will depend on you earning my trust, and I can't promise that it will be easy for you to earn it either. I don't trust anyone named Cullen and I've been too hurt by that name to believe anything good could come from someone who holds it, but you are not your brother and we used to be good friends. We can start that way, you and me getting to know each other again, but I want you to understand that it won't be easy for me. And while it may not be fair, you will probably be held to a higher standard because of who you are."

"I understand that Bella, and I promise that I'll earn your trust again. I just want the chance to know him."

"And you have to know, he doesn't know who his father is yet. I haven't decided what to tell him, but you are not allowed to even hint at knowing or telling him anything him anything about it. Even if he asks you straight out, if you tell him anything without my approval, you're done." I can't help the anger that imbues my words.

"I promise, whatever you want me to do or say or even not say, I'll do it," she answers without a second's hesitation.

I nod in acknowledgement and tell her, "You can get my number from Jasper and we can make arrangements from there." I turn around to talk to Rose, and to end my conversation with Alice, only to find that Rose has left and I can only assume it was to give us some privacy. In order to not be completely rude by walking out of the room without saying anything else I say, "If you'll excuse me, I need to get back to Emmett."

I numbly walk out of the kitchen and enter the living room and make my way to Emmett where he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into his warm side, continuing his conversation without missing a beat. It feels right, so very right, to be so close to him, and I melt into the strength and comfort he provides while I think about what just happened. Did I really just tell Edward's sister that she could be a part of Seth's life? Am I really going to allow one of them to get close enough to possibly hurt my son? I think I did, but it doesn't feel like a bad thing to me, not right now. Would it really hurt to give her a chance? We used to be friends, close friends, and I can't really remember any reason, other than Edward that is, that we stopped being friends.

After finishing his conversation Emmett pulls me off to the side so we can have a semblance of solitude and privacy and asks, "You're being awfully quiet, is everything alright?"

"I think so Em, I'm just thinking," I answer quietly.

"About?" he asks without really pushing me to say what is bothering me. He knows me well enough to know that I need time to process things my own way.

"Did you know that Alice is here?" I ask instead of answering him outright.

"What?" he nearly shouts in response. I hush him, not wanting to cause a scene around our friends and he takes a few deep breaths before he speaks again. "Why is she here, and more importantly, are you okay with her being here?"

"I think so Em. I'm not too happy that she blindsided me by just showing up, but truthfully, I probably wouldn't have talked to her any other way. And she had some pretty interesting things to say."

"Like what? What could she possibly have to say to you?" His anger is simmering just under the surface so I gently place my hand on his jaw to calm him down.

Looking into his eyes, I let him know that I'm alright, that I'm not scared (much) and that I have things under control. "She wants the chance to get to know Seth, to be in his life."

"No way Bella, she'll hurt him. She's a Cullen; you know what they're like," he says, instantly coming to Seth's defense.

"I already told her that it will be on my terms, not hers, and that there will be rules. She can't tell him who she really is to him, nor can she say anything about Edward," I tell him.

"And you think that she'll follow the rules?" His tone, while more than slightly sarcastic, lets me know that it's a serious question.

"If what she said to me in the kitchen is true, then yes, I think she will," I state with an underlying confidence I didn't know was there.

"What can I do to help?" he sighs and shows me that no matter what, he's on my side.

"I think that the two of us need to sit down with her without Seth around and talk this out. Then, if she's serious about wanting to know him we'll go from there. As far as I'm concerned, I told Seth that she was an old friend from school, but I think we should also let him know that she's your cousin. That might make it easier to integrate her into his life slowly. We'll also tell him that she's marrying Jasper. That should be sufficient." _Or at least I hope it will be_, I add to myself.

"Alright Bells, I trust you. I just don't want to see my boy get hurt," he says, his lips speaking the words into the crown of my head and placing a loving kiss to punctuate his feeling.

"Neither do I Em, neither do I," I sigh.

**-o0o-**

**I know that I did not cover what the presents were, but I did it intentionally. Use your imagination and picture the things that would mean the most to each of them from Charlie and you have his gifts. This chapter was all about Alice and dealing with possibilities. All that's left now is the Epilogue, and while it's a bit different from the rest of the story, I hope you'll enjoy it anyways.**


	10. A Thousand Years

**Chapter 9 (A Thousand Years- Christina Perri):**

"Dad, Chucky's been in my room again. My homework is all messed up! He even ripped one of my papers and I worked really hard on it! I hate this!" Seth screamed angrily down at me from the top of the stairwell and holding the apparently useless pieces of his torn English paper.

"Son, it's not the end of the world, you can print another copy. You did save it, didn't you?" I ask him calmly, hiding a smirk because while I think it's funny that he's screaming about a paper that isn't in reality anywhere near ruined I do understand the frustration of younger siblings getting into your stuff.

Rosie used to do it to me all the time. It was like there was nothing more interesting in the whole house for her to get into than my room. I can remember countless hours spent trying to reassemble my own Lego creations, not to mention the time she practically destroyed my entire baseball card collection. I had painstakingly collected nearly the entire 1982 Seattle Mariners team roster and in less than ten minutes she had singlehandedly decimated the cards. Seriously, it looked like a ticker-tape parade had gone through my room. I honestly hated her for the next two years…

Ah, to be that young again.

But then, if I was still that young I wouldn't be where I am today. I love my life. I have a beautiful family and an amazingly sexy and wonderful wife. Did I mention that she was sexy? Yeah well, it's worth mentioning more than once. In fact, let me expand on that thought to say that she's hot as hell. I never thought I'd see anything sexier than Bella that first night in Jake and Rose's kitchen but man, was I ever wrong. A pregnant Bella beats a non-pregnant Bella any day. Hands down. Seriously, if she wouldn't kill me for it I'd keep her pregnant all the freaking time.

Now don't get me wrong, while I think all pregnant women are beautiful, none of them get me as hard as my Bella round with my child does. She owns that look, just like she owns my heart. Oh yeah, and my dick… she definitely owns that.

We've been married for just over five years now, but I know that she's my forever. She always has been. Even back in high school she could've owned me with nothing more than a look, but back then she wanted Doucheward and he wanted nothing more than a good time. But hey, his stupidity is my gain so I can't completely hate the fucker. If it hadn't been for his selfishness I wouldn't have Bella or Seth, not to mention Chucky or the little one currently baking in Bella's babalicious belly. We think it'll be a girl this time, well I hope so anyways. I'm hoping for an Emily Rose McCarty, one who looks just like her mama.

But back to my idiot of a cousin… Because he couldn't stomach tying himself to one of the 'common people' of Forks society he lost out on raising the amazing young man Seth is turning out to be. And I'd be willing to bet that he kinda regrets it now, judging by the look on his face whenever he sees our family. I have everything that should have been his and I don't hesitate to remind him of it each time Bella and I walk into his office for her prenatal checkups. Yeah, we have to go to his clinic, but honestly, his is the only OB/GYN office in Forks. Thankfully he's not the only doctor or we'd be hoofing it to Port Angeles once a month. He and Eric Yorkie of all people opened a practice together. So yeah, Yorkie gets to see my wife's lady parts, not Dr. Assward. Yorkie delivered Chucky, also known as Charles William McCarty, almost three years ago and will be the one delivering the newest McCarty soon.

Shortly after Charlie's passing Tanya gave birth to what was supposed to be the Cullen legacy. Right away it was apparent that maybe Eddie had pinned his hopes on the wrong woman, high society girl that she was, because the baby was a little bit too russet-colored to be a full blooded Irish-America Cullen. Turns out that Tanya had been sleeping with several of her clients and was now the proud mother of a convicted felons' child from the reservation. The funniest part of it though, is that Tanya's baby daddy is Jake's half-brother Paul. Kinda makes you feel sorry for Eddie-boy… that is, until you remember who he really is. Anyways, there was a shit-ton of drama, a very public and nasty divorce and a humiliated Cullen family left in the wake of her 'little indiscretion', as Aunt Esme likes to call it. Either way, Cockyward is all alone up there on his pedestal again.

Hmmm… makes a guy wonder who polishes it for him now. UGH! ... and now I'm officially grossed out by my own thoughts.

"Of course I did, I'm not _that_ stupid Dad. I save everything just in case Chucky does this shi… I mean, this kind of thing," he corrects himself even before I can say anything about his language. His foul mouth frustrates Bella to no end, but I keep reminding her that he's fifteen and it could be so much worse than a few vulgar words slipping from his mouth.

"Okay then, just go print out another copy and this time don't leave it lying around. We'll go to Home Depot this weekend and get you a lock for your room." His face lights up at the idea of the total privacy a locked door will afford him, and I can't blame him; having a terrible two-er in the house isn't easy for a fifteen year old guy. "But I'll need to get your mother on board before we do it. You know how much she hates locked doors."

"But you know she'll say no. Seriously, she gets mad when I lock the bathroom door," he replies with an unmanly whine.

"I know son, but I'll explain it to her. She'll understand and you'll get your privacy, I promise. You just gotta know how to talk to her the right way."

"Talk to who the right way?" my beautiful and suddenly stealthy wife asks from behind my left shoulder.

"Um… you?" I squeak and stammer, making what should have been a statement sound more like a question. Did I mention that she owns me? Or that she's pregnant? Did I happen to tell you that even though she's smoking hot rocking that baby belly, pregnant lady hormones are hella-scary? No one wants a pissed off pregnant Bella in the house less than I do. Horny pregnant Bella? Hell yeah! But piss her off and my nut-sack climbs up inside me and my cock goes covert all ninja style.

"Now why would someone need to know the right way to talk to me Em? Do I need to be handled?" she asks with a cocked eyebrow –which, by the way, we are no longer allowed to call the 'bitch brow', oh no, bad things happen if you call it that out loud around a pregnant Bella… very bad things.

"Of course not baby, I was just trying to explain to Seth why you and I needed to talk about putting a lock on his door before I just went out and did it. You know, because it should be a unified decision kinda thing, right?" I'm really trying not to cringe and hoping that she doesn't notice that I'm kinda-maybe-definitely covering my boys as I see her face start to heat up.

"I see," she says it so that I can tell that she certainly doesn't 'see' anything and I'm trying to figure out if my cock's ninja skills could be shared by the rest of my body. Nope, it's not sharing. Shit. "So, you have to try to talk me into allowing my son to lock us out of his room and keep us out of his business like we have no right to know what's he's doing or what kind of teenage fuckery goes on in his room?"

"No baby, it's nothing like that, I swear. Right, Seth? Seth?" Nothing but air, dead air I might add, meets my somewhat panicked questioning. A quick look around proves that Seth has abandoned me to fight this battle alone. _Thanks a lot son. _"You see, Chucky got into his room again and this time he tore up one of his papers for school and it made Seth mad, Babe. So I told him that I'd talk to you about getting a lock for his door. That way Lil' C can't keep getting in there and into Seth's stuff." She opens her mouth to say something, but I stopped her by holding up a (thankfully steady) finger. "Please, just hear me out. Seth is fifteen, right?" She nods. "Well, you gotta know that typing up homework isn't the only thing he does in his room. So the way that I see it, having a lock on his door keeps little eyes and hands safe from seeing things or getting into things that they shouldn't. Now, we would have a key that you could use anytime you felt you needed to, and we'll let him know that the locking privileges are limited to keeping younger siblings out only, not parents. But he needs to have some privacy Bells. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

I watch as her stiff shoulders soften and the anger drains from her face. She places one hand on my chest, right over my heart, and stretches up on her toes to kiss me gently. "And that's why I love you Em, because you know how to handle me."

"And I do so love handling you," I say as I wiggle my eyebrows at her and smile the way that I know puts a sexy as hell smile on her face and wrap my arms around her expanding waistline. My hands barely meet at the small of her back now, but that's not where I was aiming for them to stop anyways. I watch the slow arousal seep into her now hooded eyes as my hands grasp the firm globes of her glorious ass and squeeze lightly.

"And I love it when you do Baby, but I really gotta pee. Then Chucky and I have to head over to Alice and Jasper's for his play date with Avery and you and Seth have to head to the Dojo for class. Can't have the Sensei be late for his students, now can we? That wouldn't set a very good example for your new assistant." Seth had just received his 4th degree brown belt last month and to celebrate the occasion the sign above the Dojo doors now reads 'McCarty and Sons Wado Karate' and I had taken him on as my assistant instructor. He was certified to train the younger classes as well as the women's self-defense class we offered by himself, and though he was still taking his own classes to gain higher levels, he was allowed to help me out in the higher belt classes as well. I always get a kick out of watching him get his ass handed to him by the black belts, but it is obvious that his love of the art is always present. His discipline is really good, and if he keeps up with his training, I have high hopes that he'll join me as a sensei there soon as well.

"You're right babe, of course you're right. But I need some nooky," I whine in my hopefully manly way.

"You poor baby, have I been neglecting you?" she purrs. I shit you not, the woman fucking purrs. Holy hell, my cock has come out of hiding and is making its presence known now. It's like a titanium rod and an Ironwood tree fell in love and had a baby, a really big really hard baby, that's how hard I am for this woman.

There's not enough blood in my brain to form any words so I just nod, unable to speak. And grunt, because apparently I don't need brainpower to do that either. Shit, now I know why cavemen used to drag their women off to their caves by their hair; that was the only way to communicate when they were ready to rut. Hmmm, I wonder if it would piss Bella off too much to fuck me if I drug her to our bedroom that way… OR… would it make for some really hot angry sex? Maybe I should wait until after she has the baby to try that.

Focus McCarty! Her lips are moving and they're not doing it over your cock, so she might be trying to say something. I mentally shake myself loose of the lust-induced haze fogging up my head -the upper one- just in time to hear the last part of her sentence.

"… no matter what."

"Huh?" I ask, because yeah, I still don't have full blood flow to my brain yet.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you Hon?" she giggles. Thank God she's amused because last time I fogged out I came back and she was madder than a wet hen, but Heaven help me, I thought it was sexy as hell when she was fired up. "What was it this time? Pirates? Super spies?"

"Cavemen," I answer and my dick twitches hopefully. "You know Bells, you'd look awfully purty in nothing but a few scraps of animal hide." I say suggestively while rubbing my titaniwood (ironium? woodtatium?) staff against her.

"I'll remember that next time I head to Whales R Us for maternity clothes. Besides, wasn't it one of your fantasies that landed us here in the first place?" she asks rubbing her belly in amusement.

"Hell woman, if it was my fantasy, you'd be like this all the time." I answer with a smug sense of right, my manliness proudly on display in the form of her growing abdomen.

"I know Em, trust me. You know," she looks up at me from under her lush lashes, her eyes playfully giddy with whatever she's about to say. "They probably have a 12-step program for people like you."

"People like me? And what, pray tell, do you mean by 'like me'?" I ask, only marginally interested in her answer. I'm much more interested in the way she's pressing up against me now.

"You know, men who are addicted to sex with fat chicks," she says while trying to keep a neutral look on her face and failing miserably.

"Not fat chicks Bells, pregnant chicks, or more specifically, one pregnant chick. You Baby, only you," I answer in all seriousness and let her see the need in my eyes.

"Always you Em, for the next thousand years at least," she answers back, her needy eyes now mirroring mine.

"Have I mentioned that I love you yet today? 'Cause Babe, I really do," I whisper in her ear. "I also think you look pretty hot in that dress Baby."

"Well if you think I look so hot in it, maybe you should see how I look out of it too…" And there's that fucking purr of hers again. _Hello my ironium friend._

"Sweet baby Jesus! Woman, do you know what you do to me?" I growl as I pull her up into my arms and carry her to our room, "not to mention all of the things I'm about to do to you."

Looks like Seth might have to start class without me tonight; I have better things to do right now, and as I close the door behind us I smile, thanking God that Bella doesn't mind having a lock on _our_ door.

**-o0o-**

**That's it folks! Here's that HEA I promised. I can only assume that it won't be blissful perfection, what with a teenager, a toddler and a soon-to-be newborn, but it will be perfect for them. There will not be a sequel, though I am trying to wrangle my muse into helping with a short Seth POV. No promises though, so begging won't help. My muse comes and goes as she pleases, usually giving me enough to leave me frustrated but not enough to finish anything in a short time period. I actually kinda hate the bitch, but what can a mere mortal such as myself do? **

**Anyways, thanks for hanging in there and dredging through the angst, I really appreciate it. All of your reviews mean so much more to me than I can express.**

**~Sassy**


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